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For those of us on the East coast, we may finally be kissing crappy weather goodbye. It was a brutal, snow-filled, chilly winter, and those blues may be harder to shake than we’d like. But thankfully, I found comfort within the four walls of my home. I had women like Tracee Ellis Ross on my TV screen to keep me entertained as I was locked inside, heat blasting.
While I first became familiar with Ross when she was on Girlfriends, I obtained a new appreciation for the actress when I gave Black-ish a try. I enjoy the show, and as Ross’s career flourishes again, I enjoy watching her win and be a great role model for young girls and grown women alike. I’m thankful that we have Ross to represent all the reasons why we should take the time to love ourselves and be the best women we can be.
The actress is a gift to Black women everywhere. Too often, we beat ourselves up just as much as we allow others to, and she is a celebration of loving the various shades of skin we live in.
“A lot of our culture involves sharing tricks and tools of how to get what you want instead of how to be who you are,” she shared in an interview with USA Today. “My experience is the more that I know, accept, love and cultivate who I am — what really makes my heart sing — the more my life becomes a reflection of that.”
She isn’t afraid of being quirky. She doesn’t hide the fact that she is 42 years old, unmarried, and without children. She doesn’t freak about it either. Instead, the Black-ish star pours herself into being a teacher of self-love.
Going against the grain of what our culture deems beautiful, Ross is a champion for big hair and always being comfortable with one’s self. Following her on Instagram and reading her interviews, the actress reminds us that comfort, whether it’s being comfortable in your body or your clothes, is essential. As she told the New York Times:
“I just really strongly promote pushing against this culture of perfection. I mean, I’m sorry, for me, Spanx don’t feel good. I’ve tried one of those waist-trainer things on — that hurt like the bejesus. I could barely get it closed, and I bought the size bigger than they said I should buy. I mean, this [expletive] hurt. I couldn’t wear it for longer than 10 minutes. People are sleeping in them.”
As Black women, there is constant chatter surrounding our beauty, whether it is about our hair or are body types. As Ross told the New York Times, “I’m trying to find my own version of what makes me feel beautiful.” Redefining what those standards mean to us personally is a daily task worth paying attention to.
And who doesn’t love Ross’s sense of humor? Perhaps her background as an actress and comedienne helped in the creation of her alter egos, including the beloved Instagram star T-Murda, whose take on lyrics from the likes of Rae Sremmurd and Young Thug, keeps fans and followers in stitches. While we may all look crazy if we went on our social media pretending to be a rapper, there is something to be said about allowing yourself to be silly and not taking life so seriously.
Being able to laugh at ourselves allows for us to approach life optimistically. As Ross once said, “When a smile breaks open into laughter hearts open! Laughter creates space, ease and connection. It reveals our true nature. Laughter is our soul’s joy-song. What could be sexier than a song our soul moves to?”
Many thanks to Tracee Ellis Ross, my spirit animal and BFF in my head, for being an incredible diva and representing women in a relatable way. She is not just an actress and the daughter of the legendary Diana Ross. She is a black woman with her own identity, grappling with the same everyday struggles as other black women. She is truly a representation of the great things that can come from trusting the journey of loving ourselves a little bit more each day.
