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When many people get to know a prospective partner, they make their standards understood and expectations clear. Others play things by ear and let the chips fall where they may. And while there’s nothing wrong with doing that, for some, letting a guy you’re interested in know what they should expect is imperative. This is especially true for single mothers.
Dating a woman who has a child or children can be an adventure like no other, both good and bad depending on how well her life is managed. It’s best for a mother to let a man know up front what to expect from her, and what she can do. But sometimes, even after divulging all that information, there are still some unexpected twists and turns. All in all, here are the three most important things for a man to be aware of and expect if they plan to date a woman with a child. Fellas, make sure you’re okay with it all before trying to take the next step. As they say, get with it or get lost.
When out on a date with a single mom, a man should expect her to call the babysitter and check in on her child/children as a responsible parent should. This is one of the basic expectations a man should have because it shows that she is a loving and caring mother. Cancelations and rescheduling dates are a common thing for everyone, but it can happen more often when you’re a parent. So many unpredictable things can happen with kids, but as a responsible caregiver, it’s a mother’s job to rearrange her schedule if she needs to for the child’s well-being. And if you’re a man who’s serious about moving forward with her you’ll be patient, understand her situation as much as you can, and anticipate the next date. But if she has to reschedule or cancel plans with you because of the little ones more often than not, she may not be that interested in you.
If a woman is single and has a child (or several children), then somewhere in the picture there’s a father that she may or may not be involved with. He comes with the package, and he could come with some drama. In some cases, he could even come with the intention of getting her back. It’s best to be aware that the two parents may reunite for the sake of their child, or have feelings for each other that may not have subsided. And if the relationship with the dad isn’t so pleasant or didn’t end on good terms, then one should expect some skepticism from her, because she may be in her healing process and may not be 100 percent ready to move on. So anticipate some standoffish behavior because you don’t know where she stands mentally and emotionally just yet.
And finally, one of the greatest expectations among the many out there when dating a mom is always to expect her to put her child’s needs before her own, and definitely before the needs of the man she’s dating. A mother’s primary job is to ensure that her child’s needs are met at all times. And for many, this means no spur of the moment dates, no frequent pop-ups, lengthy phone calls, or nonstop text messages. It’s not that she isn’t interested in those things, but she’s merely taking care of her responsibilities.
As an unmarried mother of one, I make all of my expectations clear when dating someone because I owe it to them to be truthful about how active I am in my child’s life and to let them know that he is and will always be my priority. No matter what the standards and expectations are when dating someone, they should be made crystal clear so no one will be left in the dark, and the relationship can move forward without any unnecessary drama. After all, it’s not too much to ask to let someone know what you expect of them and let them know what they should expect from you.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For?, a speaker and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
