WATCH: Graduation Class “Whips” and “Nae Naes” During Their Graduation

It’s that time of year.

Seniors around the country are celebrating their first major accomplishment. They are graduating from high school and starting the next great chapter of their lives. While most seniors sleep through their graduation ceremony. The 2015 graduating class of Kahuku High School and Intermediate School in Hawaii did not.

In what appears to be a school tradition, the graduating seniors gave a hilarious and show-stopping performance. The class started the routine with their own interpretation of Wiz Khalifa’s See You Again, Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball, Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk, Silento’s Watch Me and a dope step routine at the end.

The entire performance is 10 minutes long and so worth it. I encourage you all to watch it. Especially at the 6:20 Mark. Congratulations to the class of 2015 at Kahuku High! We can’t wait to see what they come up with next year.

Leah Still Facing New Stem Cell Transplant Complication

For the last few months, we’ve watched Cincinnati Bengals’ Devon Still and his daughter Leah battle her ongoing fight with cancer. After discovering her cancer had gone into remission, a few months ago, Leah was scheduled to undergo a stem transplant. The transplant was supposed to help promote healthy bone marrow and lower the risk of a relapse. Now, sadly, his 5-year-old daughter has hit a new complication with the procedure.

Devon took to Instagram to ask for love and prayer for Leah. He stated,

I need some prayers sent up for Leah tonight! We hit a pretty serious complication from the stem cell transplant called VOD. They caught it early so hopefully it gives the doctors a better chance of stopping it from getting aggressive. As you can imagine our minds are all over the place but we’re going to try and remain positive! #LeahStrong#WaitingForTheDayEverythingReturnsToNormal

For those of you wondering, VOD, veno-occlusive diease, is a blocking of blood vessels in the liver that can occur in stem cell transplant patients. It can set Leah back from all of the progress she has made.

Hopefully, things will get better for Leah. Our thoughts and prayers are truly with the Stil family.

Woman Sentenced To Walk 30 Miles After Ditching A Cab

MyFoxAL.com – FOX6 WBRC Birmingham, AL

Judge Michael Cicconetti is NOT here for your games girl.

The judge sentenced Victoria Bascom to walk 30 miles in 48 hours after failing to pay a cab driver. The Ohio woman, claimed she wasn’t the the last passenger to leave the cab, and believed the other riders would cover the fare.

Judge Cicconetti asked Victoria, “What would you do if you didn’t have a cab?”

“Walk,” replied Victoria.

“So I think it’s only appropriate that you walk the 30 miles,” he said.

Cicconetti told Victoria, you can walk these 30 miles or serve 30 days in jail. Of course, Victoria decided to walk those 30 miles instead. The court will monitor her progress with a GPS. In addition to her 30 miles, Victoria will also serve three days of community service and pay restitution to the cab service.

Judge Cicconetti is well known for his interesting sentences. He has previously sentenced criminals to spend the night in the woods, and even sentenced a woman to mace herself after she maced someone in a Burger King.

The judge told a local newstation, “I wouldn’t do anything illegal. Will there be maybe some public feedback or whatever? I don’t care. I do whatever I think is right. I do whatever I think will prevent a person from coming back in the courts again.”

What do you guys think? Is the judge wrong for this? Does the rule an eye for an eye still apply?

 

 

Baltimore Police Union Says Officers Are Scared To Do Their Job

Shutterstock.com

Shutterstock.com

As the month of May comes to end, it marks the end of the most violent month, for the city of Baltimore in 15 years. According to the Associated Press, police statistics show there have been 111 homicides since January 2015, 32 more than last year.

Reports claim the new hike in violence came from the protests surrounding Freddie Gray. Now, the police union is claiming, police officers in Baltimore are “afraid of going to jail for doing their jobs.” In a statement released via twitter, the union says,

However, many civil rights activist do not believe the police union for one second. DeRay McKesson, told Buzzfeed News,

With the latest [Fraternal Order of Police] statement, Baltimore police aim to instill fear into citizens to gain support. Today, Baltimore police reminded us that they aim only to protect and serve their selfish interests and not the interests of public safety or the public good.”

What do you think? Is the police union looking for a method out? Or, are police officers really afraid to do their job?

Muslim Woman Claims Discrimination Against United Airlines Over Unopened Soda Can

Tahera-United-Airlines

Tahera Ahmad is not a happy United Airlines customer.

According to her Facebook page, a flight attendant refused to give her an unopened can of Diet Coke. Ahmad wrote, the flight attendant was “clearly discriminating against me” after the male passenger seated next to her received an unopened beer.

The incident took place on her flight from Chicago to Washington Friday. Ahmad was presented with a can that was previously opened. Upon asking for a new closed can, for her own personal hygienic reasons, the flight attendant stated, “Well, I’m sorry. I just can’t give you an unopened can, so no Diet Coke for you.”

When Ahmad mentioned the man next to her had an unopened beer, the flight attendant quickly opened his as well. The flight attendant then told Tahera, “We are unauthorized to give unopened cans to people, because they may use it as a weapon on the plane.”

To make matters even worse, when Tahera asked for her fellow passengers for help and she was told to “Shut the F*ck up!”

“I can’t help but cry on this plane because I thought people would defend me and say something,” she wrote in the post. “Some people just shook their heads in dismay. “#IslamophobiaISREAL”

United Airlines issued a statement claiming,

The flight attendant onboard Shuttle America flight 3504 attempted several times to accommodate Ms. Ahmad’s beverage request after a misunderstanding regarding a can of diet soda. The inflight crew met with Ms. Ahmad after the flight arrived in Washington to provide assistance and further discuss the matter. Additionally, we spoke with Ms. Ahmad this afternoon to get a better understanding of what occurred and to apologize for not delivering the service our customers expect when traveling with us. We look forward to having the opportunity to welcome Ms. Ahmad back

However, Tahera does not feel the apology was enough. Tahera posted a new post stating,

“It is ridiculing to my integrity to dismiss the discriminatory behavior towards me. It is truly disheartening when the discrimination of Americans as myself who are working hard every day to promote dialogue and understanding is disregarded and trivialized. This is not about a can of soda,” she said. “I was really hoping that after speaking with me they would have publicly acknowledged their lack of consistency in following procedure, the flight attendant’s rude and discriminatory behavior and accusations which led to hateful words, and the unfortunate lack of bystander intervention nor the flight attendants attempt to intervene and prevent further disrespect which created an unsafe space for me.”

 

 

 

Publicly Shaming Our Kids – Good Parenting or Emotional Abuse?

Making the rounds lately on social media are videos of parents publicly punishing or shaming their children when they do something wrong. Some seem harmless, like parents making their children carry signs that read “I lied to my mother” or “I cheated on an exam.” But I’ve also seen a video of an African-American father punching and slapping his teenaged son in the face because his son wanted to join a gang. The father’s intention was to show how “soft” his son was and that he was no where near “gang material.” And others show parents shaving their son’s head, or giving them “grandpa” haircuts because apparently the child thought he was “grown” and doing things that were inappropriate for his age.

And more often than not, these videos usually involve African-American parents and their children. I’m not saying White parents don’t do this, but it seems to be an overwhelming trend of these videos going viral when it pertains to African-Americans, and I wonder why WE of all communities feel this is necessary.

Now I’m not saying parents shouldn’t discipline their children when they lie, cheat, skip school, smoke weed, fight or want to join a gang. Making sure our children go down the right path since there is a war waged against them daily is imperative now more than ever. Tamir Rice, Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin – our children  (especially our sons) are being gunned down at an alarming rate, so I understand wanting to set them straight now so that “they” don’t get them later.

But when setting them straight and ushering a punishment, is it necessary to make a video of it and put it on YouTube, Facebook or Instagram for all to see? My guess is that parents assume that if they publicly shame or embarrass their child, they’ll learn their lesson and never commit that infraction again. But could a parent be doing more harm than good?

Parenting is hard, I know. There is no right or wrong way to parent a child, and one could argue that these parents know what will get through to their child to get them to act right. But in many cases, I wonder if the parents aren’t publicly shaming their child to correct their behavior, but to get kudos and accolades for being a good parent. I read the comments section of these posts and many applaud the parents for their “tough love” and not putting up with any nonsense. But do you need the approval of friends, family or strangers to discipline your child? Since when is humiliating your child for the world to see protecting them from trigger happy cops? Are you building them up or tearing them down while you look for “likes” and cosigns from people who are happy to see your child traumatized on social media?

I have a son, and I know that I will inevitably have to discipline him for something. While the jury is still out on whether I’ll spank him or not since he’s just a baby, I don’t know what types of discipline I’ll employ to teach him a lesson. I do know that if I DO spank him, it’ll be a last resort. My mother didn’t believe in spanking. She believed in talking to us and explaining why our actions were inappropriate while also explaining the consequences of our actions. She also believed in taking privileges away – no phone, TV, friends over, etc. Luckily that was enough for us to fall in line.

I know all children are different, so one form of punishment may not fit all when disciplining a child. And I understand that some parents feel that spanking that behind first and talking later is all that is needed to get that kid’s mind right. Most kids I know who were spanked appreciate their parents for laying hands on them, and even claim they were better off for it and turned out to be wonderful, well-adjusted adults.

But beating your kids on social media – is THAT necessary? I’m not saying don’t punish the child. I just wonder if doing so publicly can backfire on you. Nadine Bean, a professor of social work at West Chester University says the videos “are a way to gain temporary fame and kudos. But the impact of psychological maltreatment is well-documented … and lifelong. They can take the form of insults, threats, public shaming, belittling, being emotionally neglectful, being insensitive, cruel, etc.” While it’s a parent’s job to discipline their child, it’s also their job to make them feel safe and protected. In a world where they are looked at as inferior and used for target practice, the last thing I’d want my child to feel is that I was against him too. If he’s not safe at school, going to the store for some Skittles or simply walking down the street, at the VERY least he should feel safe in his own home and not feel bullied by his or her own parents.

Shaming and humiliating children under the guise of good parenting says more about the parents to me than it does about the child and whatever the child did. Most times, it seems that these parents are doing this to say, “See, look at me, I’m punishing my child therefore I’m a good parent.” There’s an insecurity there that makes them embarrass their child in exchange for applause for “not taking no stuff.” And since most times the parents are blamed when a child does something wrong, especially in the Black community, I feel we have a tendency to overcorrect the problem because we feel inadequate as parents. But emotionally abusing your child so that he can face further humiliation and ridicule can have longer lasting negative effects that can lead to stress, depression, substance abuse and low self-esteem. Is it really worth it?

I’m all for finding ways to discipline a child, but do so in a way that doesn’t dehumanize him. With #blacklivesmatter as our mantra, it seems our children need us to be their strongest allies, not their enemies. Punish your child yes, but do it privately, talk to him/her and get to the root of the problem from the inside out. You may find that you are part of the problem, and therefore can most certainly be the biggest part of the solution.

“I Live In Humiliation On A Daily Basis”: Mothers On Food Stamps Open Up

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Shutterstock

We’ve heard it all. “Welfare queens!” “Leeches!” “Bums!” Americans on safety net programs are not exactly media darlings. But thanks to Gawker, which is now featuring a series of personal stories from SNAP recipients, we get the inside scoop — straight from the horse’s mouth — about what it is really like to be a mother on food stamps.

There is a rather unshocking consensus among the six SNAP recipients who posted their stories on Gawker: They “really, really hate” the stigma attached to Americans on welfare.

“It’s mostly fabricated, something the stuffed suits in public office can bitch about,” a 36-year-old Caucasian mother of two said. “Sure, there are absolutely people that abuse the system, but it’s mainly normal, working stiffs like me that are forced to use it, pride be damned.”

“I am judged by media, social media, legislators and people in grocery lines, when I take out my SNAP benefits card to pay for groceries or a utility bill,” said a single mom of four.

But most importantly, the SNAP recipients wanted to tackle one head-scratching question: Why on earth would anyone think that being left with no choice but to seek federal aid is some kind of luxury?  “I apparently want to be broke forever,” Cat, a 35-year-old mom, said sarcastically.

Cat delves into how, after 18 years of years of being a certified nursing assistant (CNA), her back ended gave out on her (she herniated her discs). She lost her job and now must work at home with a smaller paycheck. Her husband, she said, also ended up losing his job. With her monthly bill running up $580 a month, she says that the $280 that the receives from food stamps is a huge help.

“We need aid […] BECAUSE I work,” Cat said, shooting down the “lazy” stereotype. She says that in her town of Cortland, NY, most people on welfare accept the aid because the job market is tough.

A 36-year-old mom chimed in to add that she had to seek federal assistance because her daughter has a heart defect. She had to battle through two open heart surgeries. As a certified medical assistant making $11 an hour, she can barely make ends meet.

“The $250 in food stamps I get every month supplement us for just about three weeks. My kids are pretty sick of the spaghetti/PB&J rut that we’re stuck in at the end of every month,” she said.

To sum it up, SNAP recipients want to make it known that “it’s embarrassing and frustrating, and those few a$$holes that do take advantage ruin it for everyone,” she added. “They are the EXCEPTION, not the rule.”

If you want to take a more in-depth look at these stories over at Gawker, click here.

Hate If You Want, But Lil Mama’s “Sausage” Video Has A Great Message

For some odd reason, people love throwing shade at Lil Mama.

Okay, maybe not for no some reason. She did interrupt two of our favorite artists on stage that one time. However, that was years ago!

Now, in a brand new single titled, “Sausage”, Lil Mama is back and back with a message. The single, which pays tribute to multiple artists of popular hip hop/R&B music, addresses a major issue in our community. Wrapping it up! As much as people believe, our children are sexually educated. They truthfully are not. The single is a great way to bring awareness to practicing safe sex.

The lyrics go,

Eggs, bacon, grits (sausage)
You better use a condom if you taking that (sausage) 

In addition to the great chorus, the video is full of dance moves. I encourage you all to watch the video. Despite, our own individual feelings about Lil Mama, she’s encouraging safe sex! Who can be mad at that?

You better use a condom if you taking that (sausage)! 

 

Do you Agree with Nicki? Should Every Woman Demand An Orgasm Every Single Time?

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In a recent interview with Cosmopolitan, rapper Nicki Minaj stated,

 “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me. We always have orgasm interventions where we, like, show her how to do stuff. We’ll straddle each other, saying, ‘You gotta get on him like that and do it like this.’ She says she’s a pleaser. I’m a pleaser, but it’s fifty-fifty.”

Now, I know, most women reading this are cheering and applauding Nicki. Why shouldn’t be climax every single time? Nine times out of 10, our partner will. However, I know some are probably saying, “I’m a pleaser, I don’t have to go every time.” And, let’s not even discuss some of the women that have never had one.

So, Let’s discuss it. Should one of your requirements be to climax every single time?

Atlanta Falcon Linebacker Released After Killing Ex-Girlfriend’s Dog

Shembo

Prince Shembo might want to think through his decisions next time.

The 23-year-old Atlanta Falcons linebacker has been charged with aggravated animal cruelty and a felony after his ex-girlfriend accused him of killing her dog! According to E News,

 The Gwinnett County Police Department states that Denicia Williams called the cops on April 19 to report that four days prior, she had taken her dog with her to Shembo’s apartment and, after leaving them alone for a time at some point, she returned to find the dog unresponsive. Williams then took Dior to Duluth Animal Hospital, where he died shortly after arrival.

Police also confirmed that Shembo made multiple comments about hurting and kicking the dog. The comments were made to ex-girlfriend after she broke up with him. Also, a necropsy performed on the puppy, showed he had sustained intensive internal injuries and the cause of death was blunt-force trauma.

The incident not only cost him a slap on the wrist, but the Atlanta Falcons have also decided to waive Shembo.

Yikes.

Credit: Gwinnett County Police Department)

Credit: Gwinnett County Police Department)

DC Reporter Shot Dead At 27 After Work Meeting

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On Wednesday (5/27), 27-year-old Charnice Milton lost her life to a senseless act of violence.

The DC reporter was shot while waiting for the bus, after a leaving a business meeting at work. According to the Washington Post, a gunman drove by on a motorcycle and fired several shots in the air. One of the stray bullets hit Charnice, an unintentional victim.

Charnice’s father told my Fox DC,

 She had her own condition of Asperger’s and it was presumed because of her special condition, she would never excel and never achieve any great feat. Yet watching our daughter walk across the stage at Bishop McNamara High School with honors, then going to Ball State and graduating with honors, then graduating at Syracuse with honors, and then staying here in Southeast Washington D.C., when she could have gone anywhere.”

“What we do know is that out of cowardice, a young man grabbed my daughter and put [her] between the bullet and his life, We miss our daughter. We hurt that she is no longer with us it. But we also know that she is at a peaceful place.”

D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser also stated,  We know that people were in and around the area. We have gotten very little information and we need the public to provide that information so Charnice’s killer can be captured.

Charnice’s death marked day 6, in a chilling new trend. 6 people have been killed in 6 days across the District of Columbia.

Our prayers are with the family of Charnice.

Bring Your Kid to Work…Or Not

As a basketball fan and Stephen Curry fan, I am probably one of a few women (and men) who actually watch and pay attention to post-game press conferences. Therefore, you can imagine my delight when Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors brought out his adorable 2 year-old daughter Riley, during one of said press conferences. To say she stole the show is an understatement. She giggled, squirmed and was a total ham. What parent wouldn’t be proud to show off his or her child at their place of business – especially in front of millions of fans?!

Then there was the second press conference. Little Miss Riley Curry was at it again, coming out onto the stage under the curtain, singing rap songs and even asking a reporter (or someone) to hold her gum. The cutie pie was again the center of attention….but this time I was over it.

Now I know that may make me seem like a “hater” – an overused term when someone doesn’t agree with the masses – but bringing kids to work too much may not be “cute” anymore after more than a few times. I get that there are family-friendly companies out there that welcome and even encourage parents to bring their children to work. But late night press conferences after professional basketball games during the playoffs may not be the best environment for toddlers. My 16 month-old is usually knocked out by then, and I’m not sure I’d adjust his bedtime for press conferences. But then again I’m not married to a pro baller either.

Since the case of Steph Curry and his daughter may not be a “normal” circumstance many of us would find ourselves in, it’s hard to say what is appropriate or not in that situation. One could argue that it was done for ratings, that the NBA approves, that Curry travels a lot so he doesn’t get much time to spend with his daughter – so therefore his daughter’s presence is a breath of fresh air. But what about us “regular” folks who work in an office setting, call a cubicle home and who don’t have million dollar endorsement deals? Is it appropriate for us to bring our kids to work because they’re just so darn cute?

Well, it depends.

My last job in corporate America was very family friendly. There were two rooms set aside for mothers who breastfed their babies and needed a place to pump. We had emergency daycare services in place and we even were encouraged to work remotely if our kid was sick without using up all of our sick, personal or vacation days. But if you ask me, all of those perks were so that women didn’t HAVE to bring their kids to work. I mean, let’s face it – most women are in a bind if their daycare falls through, or their child gets sick and they can’t take off from work or work from home. I was very grateful my last company took all those measures to make sure mommies and daddies had valuable resources available for such situations. It made it so I never wanted to leave for those benefits alone. Unfortunately, corporate restructuring gave me no choice. Now, finding another company with similar perks is one of my top priorities.

That said, it seems that working for family-friendly companies and being able to bring your kids to work make for desirable work conditions, boosts morale and leads to less turnover. Some say that giving parents these types of options boost their productivity as well. But there are some companies that don’t share that same view.

While productivity may increase in some instances for parents, it may diminish productivity for those without children, or those who feel children should be left at home. While I love kids, I remember being at work during my childless years on “Kid Day” and not being able to conduct business on the phone because there were kids running wild in the background. Since then, I just planned ahead and didn’t schedule any calls when that day rolled around. But on the days when coworkers brought their kids in on a non “Kid Day” day, it was annoying and distracting when other coworkers let their child run around unsupervised. It was as if they expected their colleagues to be babysitters at work. It was unprofessional.

Since all companies are different, one can’t say if bringing kids to work is appropriate or not. I guess if I were running my own company, I’d want parents to feel a family-friendly vibe, but I’d have rules in place as well…some that companies should adopt:

One – I’d limit the number of days/times a parent could bring a child to work so that they don’t abuse the privilege. In the case of emergencies, I’d allow it if I couldn’t provide a contingency plan – like school closings on snow days for example. I’d probably just allow a parent to work from home in that case. Same goes for if the child is sick. I can’t have someone’s snotty nosed, coughing kid making the rest of us sick.

Two – I’d set aside child friendly areas AWAY from work areas so as not to disturb or distract other coworkers from doing their job. Kid noise is not “adorable” to some people.

Lastly, I may even set an age requirement. Infants and toddlers need constant supervision, so if they’re with you at work and you’re always watching them, then you’re not doing any work. And it’s not fair to make your coworkers babysit your kid for you while you run off to a meeting or the copy room. If your child is older than 5, they may be able to sit in the corner and read or play video games to keep themselves occupied while their parent gets some work done. There are many rewards to being able to bring kids to work, and as long as they outweigh the cons, I’m all for it.

Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch Up For Sale For $100M

WENN

WENN

Got a $100 million handy? You could use it to by Michael Jackson beloved Neverland Ranch, according to the Wall Street Journal.

The California ranch is 2,700 acres and features a train station, six-bedroom house, 50-seat movie theater, and two lakes. No one has lived on the estate since Jackson’s death in 2009.

If Neverland does sell for its asking price, it will far exceed the $19.5 million Jackson originally paid for the land in 1988. He did, of course, spruce it up more than a bit by adding such grand amenities as a zoo and small amusement park, which have since been removed, reports Billboard. Jackson dubbed his estate Neverland after the home of the fictional children’s character Peter Pan.

Jackson defaulted on a $24.5 million loan in 2008 and was bailed out by real estate company Colony Capital LLC.

There had been rumors that Neverland would turn into an attraction similar to Elvis Presley’s Graceland. But it looks like Colony Capital, which has maintained the ranch, has no plans in doing so.

The property is also infamous because Jackson was arrested on charges he molested children on the property. He was acquitted in 2005. After that, Jackson rarely stayed at the ranch.

Are Peter’s Hands Too Deep In Cynthia’s Pockets?

Splash News

Splash News

Apparently, folks are still very invested in what’s going on with Cynthia Bailey’s purse. Recently, the reality star felt the need to address speculation that her husband, Peter Thomas, is blowing all of her hard-earned cash.

“Peter can’t take anything from me because, first of all, we’re married. My money is his money and his money is my money,” she told Straight From The A. “So Peter can’t take nothing from me.”
As for people who believe that it’s unwise for her to constantly invest in her husband’s many business endeavors, Cynthia had this to say:

“For those of you who do not know, let me be clear, I wasn’t born when I met Peter, I had a whole life in New York City where I’ve had nothing but success and money and things and other relationships and that was never an issue.”

She adds:

“I will say this, Peter has a problem. He’s very ambitious as an entrepreneur. He was that way long before I met him. If he sees a good deal, he says ‘This is a good deal, I’m going to go on and do it. What he’s supposed to do is say, ‘Hey, I bought a building today on Peach Street. I thought it was a good deal and I just want you to come see it before I sign the contract. That’s what he’s supposed to do, but we’re working on that.”

The former model went on to say that she can’t afford to blow all of her money because she has a child to think about.

“So why would I move to Atlanta and be a part of this and all of a sudden, I’m just going to give my money away? Come on now, I’ve got a kid. Like, that doesn’t even make sense. Y’all have got to make a little bit of sense.”

What are your thoughts on all of this?

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

This Woman Says She Can’t Get A Date Because She Looks Like Rihanna

Rihanna Lookalike

Source: Mirror/WENN

There are a lot of explanations women come up with to explain why they’re single and looking like Rihanna usually isn’t one of them. But low and behold 25-year-old stylist Briana Guthrie who claims her supposed resemblance to Ri Ri has rendered her man-less.

Yeaaaah.

In an interview with “The Mirror,” the Hackney, London, resident said:

“I’m single because I look like Rihanna, pure and simple. I have lost count at the amount of people that have been convinced I’m Rihanna – to date I’ve probably been stopped by over 1,000 people in street.

“Boyfriends have dated me purely because I look like her – it’s always the first thing they say. I’m desperate to find a man who sees past my resemblance to Rihanna. Blokes want me to be Rihanna, but I’m not. I’m Bianca.”

My initial reaction is just tell those men to go look at this photo gallery and they’ll see that she and the Bajan singer actually look nothing alike, but apparently Miss Guthrie’s been dealing with the ghost of Ri Ri for the past 11 years.

“When I was 14, people at my school told me I was her double,” Guthrie said. “I ended up cutting my hair to get away from it, I liked Rihanna but when you get asked it 100 times it loses its appeal quickly.

“Next thing I knew, she’d cut her hair too, and we looked exactly the same again. When I left school it just got worse. I would go on holiday and people were convinced it was Rihanna. I’d be followed and then asked for a photo. One time in London a group of tourists ran across a busy street shouting ‘Oh my gosh it’s Rihanna!'”

Despite not wanting to be associated with the singer, all of the attention caused Guthrie to develope an obsession of sorts with Rihanna, saying:

“I’ve found myself going online daily to see what she was doing/looking like. I went through phases of doing it to avoid a certain look. I had my hair red and then a week later Rihanna did it. Everyone thought I had copied her so I dyed it back. Then I went blonde and was told I looked like Rita Ora – I couldn’t win.”

Determined to win however, Guthrie says she’s now on a mission to find a man who hates Rihanna. And then they can live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, that won’t fix the issue of the young stylist being just a tad dramatic — or delusional.

Do you think Guthrie’s a Rihanna lookalike?

Sony May Pull All Of BeyoncĂ©’s Music Off Of Tidal

Beyoncé's Music Off Of Tidal

Instagram

The latest difficulty in the Tidal business saga is Sony Music’s request to be paid for the streaming rights for artists who appear on the service. Although Tidal  received approval from Universal and Warner music labels, Sony is still pending because it is seeking large advances in order for their artists to be featured.

Bloomberg says if Tidal cannot pay Sony, it may lose music from already featured on the service — most importantly (and, perhaps, most ironically) BeyoncĂ©. Although BeyoncĂ© serves as a TIDAL co-owner, Peter Mensh, co-founder of Q Prime told Bloomberg artists even of BeyoncĂ©’s caliber may not even own their own streaming rights.

Sony’s music label controls Columbia Music, RCA and Epic Records to name a few. Musical acts who fall under these labels will have issues if any streaming service has not had its rights or payment agreements approved.

Let’s just add Sony to the list of 99 problems that Hov is having in 2015.

h/t Complex

Remember These? 15 Of The Best Movie Dance Scenes

Image Source: Tumblr

Image Source: Tumblr

Remember these movie dance scenes? How many did you try to learn the moves to (and how many can you do right now)?

Happy 529 Day! Why Saving For Your Child’s College Future Is Easier Than You Think

College saving (money) for child/family

Shutterstock

Happy 529 Day y’all!

Okay so this isn’t a Hallmark card or anything but does mark a special day so to speak. Financial outlets like Forbes are celebrating 529 Day to commemorate the 529 college savings plan and Save for Education Day.

For those who don’t know what a 529 plan is, it’s a pretty nifty investment outlet that allows for tax-advantaged savings (exempt from federal taxes) and the ability to grow your money in outlets like mutual funds. There are two types of plans available: college savings investment plans and prepaid tuition plans (typically state-run with limitations).

My husband and I created a 529 plan for our son last year, as soon as he got a Social Security number. Any college graduate can testify to how expensive higher education can be, and the thought of having to help pay down the road is a very scary reality. Shoot things are pricey right now. Can you imagine what the going rate of tuition will be in another 20 years?

Lord help us.

Signing up for a 529 college savings plan was effortless. Our provider only required a $25 opening amount and making an investment choice from an assortment of options. You might think this whole thing will fly over your head, but in reality, it’s pretty digestible — so long as you don’t rush through the information. As with our 401k plans, our son’s contributions will be invested into different portfolios that each hold a series of mutual funds with different targets. As he gets older they will switch from moderately aggressive to conservative. This is a course of action that works for us but there plenty of others. You just have to figure out your family goals and what works best for you.

I don’t think many people realize that 529 plans are available at their banking institution. You don’t have to go the fancy financial institution route unless you feel it’s necessary.

The reason I’m waving the 529 flag is because a new Edward Jones study reveals close to two-thirds of Americans still have no idea what one is. To make matters worse, 83 percent of us admit we can’t afford college, yet don’t take advantage of opportunities to invest and grow our money.

Sure wealthier folks are more likely to finance something as expensive as college, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t get a leg up on the process — or at least put away here and there to have it accumulate. Here are some tips on ways to invest in your child’s financial future.

Get real about expected costs. Resources like SavingforCollege.com have calculators that can help you determine just how much your child will need to go to school. Even though these are estimates, it will give you a clearer picture of what to expect.

Start planning now. The “laws” of compound interest determine that more time for your money to grow at a certain rate can translate to extra dollars. Those who start to save for their child’s college sooner than later will have extra time to see their investments grow.

Put away what you can. Sure it would be awesome to set aside $1,000 a month for your child’s education, but that’s not very realistic for some people. Don’t let the bottom line cloud your decision to start now. Remember, many 529 college savings plan only require a small deposit. If you can put away $50 each month, please do so. Always do what you can, and work to pay down your debts so you have more available funds.

Treat savings like a bill, not an option. In addition to paying yourself first with your income, consider saving for your child as a monthly requirement and not an option. This mindset will help you to make necessary edits — like cutting back on eating out — in order to find the money in your budget to invest.

Shop online. One of the things I learned with 529 plans is how you can link most to Upromise.com, a website where proceeds from your shopping are added to your child’s account. Aside from hating shopping in person, this has allowed my son to receive hundreds of dollars in his account last year alone just for purchasing items through participating companies (there are tons). Who doesn’t enjoy getting money back?

To learn more about 529 college savings plans, check out these reads:

The Ultimate Guide to Understand 529 College Savings Plans

What is a 529 Plan?

529 Plans: Questions and Answers

Pass Or Play? Todd Dulaney Reminds Us God Is A Conqueror In “The Anthem”

Todd Dulaney

Recently signed Entertainment One gospel artist Todd Dulaney has officially released the first single off of his highly anticipated second album. “The Anthem” is known as the mega-hit song composed and sung by the Australian worship group The Planetshakers, and Dulaney is delivering a new rendition that speaks life over his listeners, as he declares for chains to be broken over their lives.

In the recorded live version below, Dulaney reminds listeners Jesus will help them overcome every situation because not “even death could hold him down.” Although “The Anthem” is usually sung during the time of Easter, it serves a special purpose this time of year by reminding people God’s will continues to prevail. Take a listen and let us know what you think. Pass or Play?

To see Dulaney perform this hit live this summer, check him out at the Freedom Conference in Forest Park, Illinois on June 20th.

Sherri Shepherd Jokes About Giving One Of Her Kids Away Following Surrogate Baby Scandal [Watch]

Shutterstcok

Shutterstcok

It’s been said that you sometimes have to laugh to keep from crying and that seems to be a motto that Sherri Shepherd lives by.

Thursday, the comedienne and actress returned to “The View” as a co-host and joked about giving one of her children away. The ladies were weighing in on a recent study that suggests millennials are in no rush to have children. Fellow guest host Raven-Symone revealed that she desperately wants a baby when Sherri jokingly offered to give the 29-year-old actress one of hers.

“I want a baby so bad,” Raven told her co-hosts. “I’ve wanted a baby since I was 15.”

“Girl, I got one or two, you can have one of mine,” Sherri quipped. “I will give one to you.”

The panel and audience burst into laughter as Sherri went on to clarify what she meant.

“You know how people with kids are like, ‘Take mine.’”

Sherri also addressed her tumultuous divorce in the following segment suggesting that had she listened to friend like Whoopi Goldberg, she wouldn’t be in her current situation.

“I actually feel like, if I had listened to my best friends, I wouldn’t be having … a million attorneys in my life right now,” she shared. “My best friends told me … all the stuff that I’m going through now, all the best friends who told me, ‘Sherri, don’t do this,’ … especially Whoopi Goldberg. She was one who came to my room every day and was like, ‘Here’s the red flags.’ ”

Sherri is known to poke fun at personal situations that would leave the average person in emotional turmoil. Last summer, she also poked fun at the fact that her estranged husband Lamar Sally Sr. served her with divorce papers at last year’s Essence Festival.

“You know they served me papers at the Essence Festival?” she said last summer. “I got served right before I went on stage. I had the summons and complaint in my jokes. I was getting them mixed up. I didn’t know who had served me, which one had served me. One [ex-husband’s] attorney is on ‘Inside Edition’ and one is on ‘Access Hollywood.’ What’s going on? Lord, you got a big blessing for me.”

After extensive legal proceedings, Shepherd was named the legal mother of Lamar Sally Jr., the infant son she shares with her ex. The child was delivered by surrogate Jessica Bartholomew last summer. Sally filed for divorce from the actress before the child could be delivered and requested primary custody. Sherri attempted to get out of the surrogacy contract claiming that her ex had committed fraud by allegedly coercing her into entering the contract knowing that he would eventually file for divorce.

This Week On Café Mocha Radio: Black Men & Depression

Ask Dr ReneeMay is Mental Health Month and with all the recent suicides in the Black community, CafĂ© Mocha has to address the issue of Black men and depression. Why is our community so ashamed to get help? We have a panel of young men willing to share their stories.

Plus Dr. Renee, host of ReachMD, a medical broadcast network for health professionals and our own MadameNoire bi-weekly columnist (Ask Dr. Renee), gives us her tips on getting healthy and answering the most important question: How do you know when it’s time to get help?

Did Y’all See the high school teen who graduate valedictorian with 26 university acceptance offers? Don’t miss the ladies of MadameNoire recap the week’s buzziest news on Did Y’all See on CafĂ© Mocha Radio this weekend and on the MN YouTube page.

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Visit Café Mocha Radio for air times around the country and on SiriusXM Channel 141. #CMR #CafeMocha

 

Back In Fashion: Legendary Designer Stephen Burrows Launches Kickstarter Campaign

Back in the ’70s  designer Stephen Burrows was one of fashion’s stars. His clothes were hot and magazines loved to profile the African-American designer. But it’s been a while since he’s been on the scene. In fact, he has had a fashion show in four years. But now the 71-year-old designer is looking to make a return to the catwalk and to do so, he has turned to crowdfunding to raise money, reports New York magazine.

According to the New York Times Burrows has launched a Kickstarter campaign. “My last collection was financed by rich friends,” Burrows told the Times. “I pitched my model to numerous investors, but this time no one stepped up. It did and didn’t surprise me. Fashion is a difficult business. Taxing. Tedious.”

On his Kickstarter page “Stephen Burrows Now!,” Burrows explains:  “The funds raised on will enable me to rent space for a design studio/showroom, to purchase fabric and produce a ready-to-wear  line. Create e-commerce and mobile commerce sites. It is my passion to custom design red carpet originals for rising stars and icons in music, fashion and entertainment.”

But his fundraising appears to be going slow. To date, he has raised just of $9,500 of the $300,000 he wants to raise — and he only has seven days to go. “My goal is $300,000,” Burrows. “Either I reach it by June 6 and get the money, or I don’t reach it and I don’t get the money.”

Burrows says he’ll move ahead even if his crowdfunding doesn’t work out. “I’m sure I’ll think of something,” the designer told the Times.

Burrows isn’t the only high-end designer to seek money via crowdfunding. Such designers as Patrick Robinson and Maria Pinto have done so as well.

There is even a crowdfunding platform created just for designers. Before the Label was founded in New York City earlier this year by  Benish Shah, Sheheryar Sardar, Uzma Kaleem, Nyla Hasan and Aziz Hasan. “Before the Label was born to help designers save money by only producing what the market has shown an interest in, while supporting no-waste production (only what has been sold is produced),” Shah told the Guardian. “It’s a way for brands to grow their business, understand the market and gain consumer insight.”

Lose Weight Or You’re Fired: The Secret Struggles Behind Celebrity Weight Loss Contracts

50 Cent Tries To Use Bankruptcy Filing To Avoid Sex-Tape Trial

DJDM/WENN.com

DJDM/WENN.com

This is becoming a hot mess. According to a Florida woman, hip-hop mogul 50 Cent invaded her privacy by posting a video on the Internet of her having sex with her boyfriend. But 50 is shifting the blame to fellow rapper Rick Ross, saying it was actually Ross who posted the clip.

Lastonia Leviston is suing, but 50 tried to get out of a state trial by filing a federal bankruptcy petition for his boxing promotion company. A federal judge however isn’t having it, and recently refused to let the music entrepreneur skip out of the trial over the video.

“Judge Katherine Failla separated the two cases at the request of a young Florida mother who accuses the rapper, real name Curtis Jackson, of humiliating her and invading her privacy by posting a video on the Internet of her having sex with a boyfriend,” reports The New York Daily News.

Leviston, 36, says Jackson posted the video in 2009 to taunt his rival, Ross, because Ross is the father of her child. The post got four million views. A jury was to be selected earlier this week in state court, but this was postponed due to 50 Cent abruptly filing bankruptcy for SMS Promotions, just one of 50’s companies.

While SMS may be in trouble, 50 Cent is far from broke. He reportedly netted $100 million in the sale of shares in VitaminWater.

According to Leviston’s lawyer, jury selection should begin next week.

Mariah Carey Says “Idol” Was The “Worst Experience Of My Life”

Mariah Carey

Splash News

Well, we know that there’s one person who isn’t too sad to see “American Idol” go. During a recent interview with Australian radio program The Kyle and Jackie O Show, former “Idol” judge Mariah Carey made it clear that she would never, ever, return to “American Idol.” Not even for the final season.

“Hell no! Absolutely not. That was the worst experience of my life,” the singer bluntly told the radio hosts.

As for her infamous feud with Nicki Minaj, the 45-year-old seemed to imply that the two were setup by producers.

“I’m not going to get into what it was, but let’s just say I don’t think they had any intentions for us to have a good experience doing that show,” she alleged. “Pitting two females against each other wasn’t cool.”

She went on to say that the experience would’ve been better if the focus was on the music as opposed to her issues with the rapper.

“It should have been about the contestants instead of about some nonexistent feud that turned into even more ridiculousness. I would never want to be involved with it again.”

Tell us how you really feel, Mimi.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Low-Income Black Women Suffer The Most From Heart Disease, Stroke

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Black women who live in poverty have the greatest chance of suffering from heart disease and stroke. According to a new study, the increased risk of heart disease or stroke associated with living in poverty is largest for Black women and people under age 50.

The study looked at a Mississippi African-American population, and found that women with the lowest “socioeconomic position” were more than twice as likely to have heart disease or stroke as those with the highest socioeconomic position, reports The Huffington Post.

Researchers analyzed a previous long-term study of 5,301 African Americans, ages 21 to 94. A majority of them were women and half were followed for more than seven years. During this period, 362 cases of cardiovascular events like heart attack or stroke occurred.

Shockingly, low-income men and women under age 50 were more than three times as likely to experience cardiovascular problems compared to peers with the highest socioeconomic status, says lead author Samson Y. Gebreab of the National Human Genome Research Institute at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, MD.

“African Americans with low SES (socioeconomic status) are more likely to have higher rates of obesity, hypertension, type 2 diabetes and physical inactivity compared to their counterparts of higher SES,” Gebreab told Reuters Health by email.

There could be other reasons as well.

“Another possible explanation is that African-American women of low SES experience higher rates of psychosocial stressors such as chronic stress, depression, discrimination and are more likely to live and work in a worse physical and social environment,” he said.

Having far fewer resources at their disposal to cope with these stressors creates a recipe for a higher risk of heart attack and stroke in African American women of lower SES, Gebreab said.

Also, according to the study team, participants with higher adult socioeconomic position were less likely to smoke or drink. They also tended to have better quality diets and higher levels of physical activity, with lower body mass index and blood pressure and fewer cases of high blood pressure or diabetes versus the low-socioeconomic status group.

“Although we have not accounted for health care access in our study, these (low SES) groups of people often also have less access to health care and encounter barriers to CVD (cardiovascular disease) related diagnosis and treatment,” Gebreab said.

Take Sex Beyond The Physical With Tantra

Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Tantra is one of the oldest known arts of sacred sexuality practiced today. Although Tantra has long been practiced in many eastern cultures, it’s just beginning to flourish in the United States. Born in India more than 6,000 years ago, Tantra emerged as a rebellion against organized religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment. Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of that time, purporting that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.

The essence of Tantra lies in the ability to transform sexual energy into a spiritual journey into nirvana, bridging the gap between spirituality and sexuality thus awakening to full enlightenment and awareness. Tantra is a “practical” spiritual path and is practiced in sacredness. Since Tantra is practiced as a spiritual ritual, as with all forms of spiritual worship, there is an acknowledging and honoring of a divine presence or being. In the case of Tantra, this is reflected by acknowledging and honoring the divine presence of God in your partner and each other throughout the realm of the senses.

From the beginning, Tantric teachings passed from one generation to the next in the unwritten form of the rituals themselves, then later through writings known simply as “Tantras.” The Tantras were written in Sanskrit (ancient Hindu) and are composed of dialogues between the Hindu god Shiva and the Hindu goddess Shakti. Tantra means to expand, join or weave Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy between lovers. This joining of the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), incorporates them into a harmonious unit of one in which they reach the essence of their core identity through a variety of rituals in the mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual dimensions of wellness.

The weaving of the Tantric energy is based on the balance of the Chakras (energy wheels). According to Tantric beliefs, there are seven chakras which align the center of the body. When in proper balance, the chakras allow us to understand the relationship between our highest consciousness and physical being. Tantra focuses specifically on using the chakras to direct Kundalini (sexual) energy between Yin & Yang within the six essential elements of Tantra: Breath, Movement, Muscle Lock, Sound, Intention and Attention. When a deep interconnection is established throughout all of the six essential elements, the perceived space between yin and yang becomes filled with the light of Spirit. This spiritual presence activates energy between the two, joining them as one.

Tantric sex versus westernized sex

Tantra is different from western ideas about sex. In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to please our lover or connect with him or her more fully. Another key distinction between westernized views of sex and tantric sex is that the western sexual script has a clear beginning (sexual excitement), middle (penetration), and end (orgasm). Sex is seen as goal oriented, with orgasm being the end result and any adaptation from this script seen as wrong.

Tantric sex is not result or goal oriented, but rather, timeless and unstructured. In Tantric sex the point of sex is not orgasm, rather to experience the sensations and pleasures associated with intimate connection with a partner. There is no clear cut beginning, middle, or end. Most of the exercises related to Tantric sex involve slowing things down, trying not to focus on our external body, or orgasm, or anything outside of our experience in the moment. Without a focus on orgasm, sex becomes more about exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate on deep physical and emotional levels. During this time, lovers are able to establish an intimate connection that can be maintained and heightened as they transition into the sexual dimension.

Another major difference between the westernized way of sex and Tantric sex is the emphasis of breathing and slowing down sexual behavior compared to the hectic, orgasm-focused westernized approach. In the art of Tantra there are a variety of individual and partnered activities that are designed to focus on breathing and meditation. The activities and exercises help to bring attention, focus and intention into the moment, which allows for greater pleasure and sensation during the experience. In addition, breathing directs energy, frees emotions, and increases stamina and orgasmic intensity, as oxygen is dispersed throughout the muscles and bloodstream.

Tantra can be a very breathtaking journey — literally and figuratively — especially when practiced with a partner who is open to transcending into a spiritual journey while experiencing sexual ecstasy. The benefits of Tantric sex are endless, including the ability to delay orgasm, heal past emotional wounds, deepen connection with a partner, rejuvenate your health, and experience ecstatic sexual states. Practicing Tantra will increase intimacy, energy of attraction, communication, and spirituality, ultimately enhancing the richness of the relationship. Through its rituals, Tantra teaches ways to carry this intense focus of concentration into all areas of life. The rituals make it possible to enjoy not only sex but increase happiness in all other dimensions in our lives.

Tantric sex extends far beyond the bedroom by helping partners open fully to each other in trust and love through all facets of their relationship, creating a space for spiritual growth and personal awareness. As you learn to open to yourself to the path of love, you naturally open up to others around you. You begin to understand that surrender does not mean submission or loss of self, but rather a loving expansion to something that is much greater than you are. The practice of Tantra shows us how to reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our inherent birthright. Through this most ancient art, we discover new joys of the erotic pleasure and expand our moments of sexual ecstasy into a lifetime of happiness and bliss. The real essence of Tantra cannot be captured in oral or in written words. To truly understand Tantra, you have to experience it!

IMG_0827 (1)Dr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a certified clinical sexologist, sex therapist, best selling author and powerful motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara- Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE. Dr. TaMara is also the Editor-in-Chief of Our Sexuality! Magazine. Our Sexuality! is the premiere magazine for women’s sexuality and sexual health. Dr. TaMara is a “Thought Leader” for the Association of Black Sexologist and Clinicians. She is also a member of the American College of Sexologists International. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook at LIFE by Dr. TaMara or Instagram, or her Live Inspired Feel Empowered (L.I.F.E.) blog http://ift.tt/1xWFfE2. Join Dr. TaMara movement of Healthy Sexuality #HowDareINot #ISaveLives www.howdareinot.com

Pass Or Play? Treasure Davis Warns Women About The “Heart Flavored Sucker”

Treasure Davis

Veteran background singer of Kelly Price, Keyshia Cole, Nicki Minaj and Keri Hilson, Treasure Davis is ready to top the charts with her new hit single, “Heart Flavored Sucker.” Featuring rapper/singer Luke Christopher, Davis sings about a love that has run dry because her man doesn’t share the same feelings as she does. In a call and respond fashion, Luke Christopher rebuttals Davis’ lyrics by stating, “I can’t say I love you but I love to be with you. ” and how he  “he had a lot of love” but ” just never fell in it.”

With heart-wrenching details of how your intuition leads you to find out the truth about how your man feels, “Heart Flavored Sucker” will certainly be Summer 2015’s breakup anthem. Take a listen below. What’s your verdict? Pass or Play?

The singer is prepping the release of her debut EP, Heart Flavored Summer later on this year.

Did Y’all See? This Week’s Moments In Questionable Parenting

This week on “Did Y’all See?” we’re talking about questionable parenting. Is Ciara moving too fast with Russel Wilson, having already introduced him to baby Future? And what about the mother who left her son home alone over the long holiday weekend? Was the neighbor wrong for calling the cops or was it right for Child Protective Services to step in? We’re talking about all that and more in the video above. Watch and weigh in below.

Teen Mom Accused Of Killing Infant By Tossing Him Off Of Bridge

Facebook

Facebook

A baby boy is dead and his mother is facing homicide charges after she allegedly tossed him off the Hamilton Street Bridge in Allentown, Pennsylvania during what investigators believe was a murder/suicide attempt.

According to NBC Philadelphia, witnesses say that Johnesha Monae Perry, 19, placed 1-year-old Zymeir Perry on the railing of the bridge, kissed him and then pushed him into the Lehigh River before throwing herself off of the bridge earlier this month. Incident reports say that the teen mother was seen pushing the baby across the bridge before stopping midway and taking him out of his stroller.

Two officers quickly arrived at the scene where they found the baby approximately 700 yards downstream. They performed CPR on the infant after pulling him out of the river. When it comes to what happened to Perry after the fall, reports seem to conflict a bit. While some outlets have reported that Perry was discovered unconscious along the river bank, The Morning McCall has reported that the teen walked out of the river and onto the shore. Witnesses say that before jumping, Perry said that it was her “time.”

Prior to the incident, neighbors say that the teen and infant were enjoying themselves at a neighborhood cookout. Perry and her baby were both rushed to Lehigh Valley Medical Center.

“She looked normal; the kid was playing in the yard. He was OK, you know, a happy kid,” neighbor Willie Lopez said. “It’s just sad, you know.”

Perry moved into a second-floor apartment in the neighborhood four weeks prior to the murder. Lopez shared that he would often see her walking the baby to daycare in the morning and picking him up in the afternoon.

“I see her and the baby is clean, cared for. I think, that’s a nice mother,” Margarita Galarza said. “I’ve got three daughters and sometimes you need help. Maybe there was nobody to help her.”

The 1-year-old remained in critical condition for several days before he was declared medically brain dead and taken off of life support. According to autopsy reports, his specific cause of death was blunt force trauma and drowning.

Perry was treated for minor injuries, including a broken arm, at the hospital, where she was guarded by county sheriffs. She was later released and taken into police custody. According to reports, she told investigators in an interview that she intended to kill her baby.

Prior to Zymeir’s death, Perry was charged with attempted homicide, aggravated assault, and reckless endangerment. After the infant was taken off of life support, charges were upgraded to criminal homicide and endangering the welfare of a child.

While it’s probably easy to bash this young woman for the terrible decision that she has made, it is also apparent that she’s suffering from some serious issues. Hopefully, she receives the help and treatment that she needs. We send our prayers to the families affected by the terrible tragedy.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Serious Question: Where Are The Soul Food Restaurants Around the World?

Corbis

Corbis

Yesterday morning I woke up craving grits and catfish. Problem? I’m in Cape Town, South Africa, and have been for the past couple of months and, unlike home, where there are soul food spots on just about every corner, there are no places here that serve the traditional African American delicacy.

I set out to find a restaurant that served anything close. That turned up nada. I went to one restaurant known for their seafood and asked if they had catfish, however all the hostess heard me say was “cat” and then she subsequently frowned her face and told me I was in the wrong part of Africa for that. I went from supermarket to supermarket, but there was not a black eyed pea or blue and white Jiffy cornbread mix box to be found in the vast land. Defeated, I decided to make the next best thing: red speckled sugar beans curry and stew perch and putu pap, just like somebody’s South African grandma used to make. It was tasty. But it was just not the same. I need some collard greens, some fried chicken with tons of hot sauce, some baked macaroni and cheese and some hush puppies, dammit.

Throughout my short travels around the world, I’ve always wondered why soul food has been missing from the culinary exchange. The time I visited Brazil I remember walking down the strip near my hotel room in Salvador Bahia and being inundated with restaurant choices from Italian, to Chinese, to Mexican and even Thai. And yet there was not a single place to get a decent hoppin’ john or good gumbo.

I had the same feeling and experience in The Netherlands. And in Jamaica. And in Ghana. And now South Africa. However, there is a KFC…

I remember being in Ghana a year after it got its first franchise peddling the 11 herbs and spices. It was in Osu, which is in central Accra, and was a multi-level structure, almost three times the size of any KFC I have seen in America. A couple of my local friends told me of the excitement folks there had upon its grand opening. Not only were there lines around the block, but people wore their best Sunday outfits for the occasion. Today, the chain, which once tried to position itself as a soul food restaurant, is now on its third restaurant in Ghana and has since opened up franchises in the Ivory Coast, Nigeria, Sudan, Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Namibia, Mauritius, Swaziland, Lesotho and Mozambique.

And yet, an authentic soul food restaurant has yet to make its mark in the place where most of its ingredients and cooking techniques originated.

And why not? It’s not like folks throughout the world don’t have a taste for global cuisine. Heck there isn’t a modern place in this world that doesn’t consider eating “exotic” foods a matter of showing one’s social status and how supposedly cultured we are. Surely Soul Food has a place in the fine dining global experience?

And so what if soul food is loaded with fats and high cholesterol. Mexicans are the fattest people in the world, but that hasn’t stopped us from chowing on half-priced tacos and margaritas. Italian people are pretty heavy too (According to the UK Daily Mail, 36 percent of Italian boys and 34 percent of girls are considered overweight or obese), but I don’t see the global community pushing the pasta away from their plates. So why, too, can’t soul food have a global audience appreciating it?

The thing is, it’s happening right under our noses.

In the piece titled, Like it or Not, Soul Food is Black History Too, I wrote about popular Charleston, South Carolina, “Southern food” chef Sean Brock who took a trip to West Africa a couple of years ago in an effort to trace the roots of several popular soul food dishes. He found them in Dakar, Senegal. As noted in the Food and Wine article about his trip:

“Throughout his visit, Brock was scribbling down notes in a red book and communicating with the cooks in his kitchens back home, sending them changes to menus in real time. At one point, as he watched Ly steam rice over a pot of aromatic broth to infuse it with flavor, he cried out, “Genius! Why don’t we do this?” He then promptly emailed his sous chef to tell him about it. “I would love to see what I’ve learned here not just on my menus, but on low-country menus everywhere,” he says. “Western African traditions have shaped one of the oldest cuisines in America, but as we modernized these dishes, they lost their soul. We owe it to both Southerners and Western Africans to find it back again.”

And as I noted in my previous piece, there was not one single sentence in the article that bothered to mentioned how the traditional style of West African cooking and recipes managed to end up on these shores. (Here’s a hint: it has to do with the Transatlantic Slave Trade, which not only on produced free labor out in the fields but in the kitchens as well. For more specific information, see this article by Christina Regelski on the history of cornbread, okra, greens and yes, even barbecue in the South). In fact, the term “soul food” is nowhere to be found in the article. Instead the author, as well as Chef Brock, opted to use the more racially inclusive term, “southern food.”

Food gentrification is not just happening stateside. Over the last decade or so, London, UK, has seen an explosion of sorts of “American Southern Food” restaurants serving everything from BBQ, okra, hoppin’ john and other traditional soul food recipes.The thing is, the grand majority of these restaurants are owned by white people whose roots are nowhere close to these shores, let alone the American Black community. One such example of this culinary white washing is the very popular Anna Mae’s Street Food truck, which has been profiled in not only the Guardian UK but also British GQ as a favorite among the Southern Food eatery. Only thing is that Anna Mae is not run by an older Black woman with a southern drawl as the name would suggest. Anna Mae is a petite white woman who said that she and her equally white husband Tony got the “Southern Food” truck idea from her many visits to the States, including soul food eateries in Harlem, NYC.

Now I am not a chef; I am a writer. Therefore, the chances of me opening up a soul food eatery in South Africa are close to nil. Still, for a long time we have been taught our food is bad, unhealthy and not worth the scraps from the table it was taken from. But obviously folks like it. And they like it enough that they are running with it worldwide. The problem is that we, the creators of this cuisine, are nowhere to be found in Soul Food’s globalization. And that means that not only are we not profiting off our own creation, but it also means that our history is once again being erased and washed over. So perhaps it is time that those of us who are professional chefs and restaurant proprietors to begin setting up shop in places outside of the U.S? God knows, Harlem, Philly, Chicago, and Memphis don’t need another soul food restaurant.

 

Keke Palmer Joins The Cast Of Fox’s “Grease: Live”

Splash News

Splash News

Keke Palmer is always making major moves.

Wednesday, it was announced that the 21-year-old beauty has been cast to appear in FOX’s “Grease: Live.” According to Entertainment Weekly, Palmer will be playing the role of Pink Lady Marty, previously portrayed by Dinah Manoff in the 1978 film. Actresses Vanessa Hudgens and Julianne Hough have also been cast to star in the live musical.

It seems that Palmer would be a perfect fit for the role especially since she has quite a bit of musical experience under her belt. Last winter, she starred in Roger + Hammerstein’s Cinderella on Broadway alongside Nene Leakes and Sherri Shepherd.

In addition to appearing in the live musical, Palmer is set to appear in the network’s upcoming killer-comedy “Scream Queens,” which is scheduled to debut this fall. She is also gearing up for season two of her popular BET talk show “Just Keke.”

“Grease: Live” is scheduled to air on FOX in January.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

 

15 Painful Ways You Realize It’s Just A Booty Call

hooking up your ex

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Sometimes it can be very hard to tell if you’re just in the pre-relationship phase of a relationship or a dead-end booty call situation. The two can look similar –tons of sex and not a lot of emotional sharing going on — but if it is just a booty call, there is always that one painful moment you figure it out.

Are You Lazy In Bed?

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Shutterstock

Do you ever wonder if you’re a lazy lover? If you’re straight, it can be hard to know because you’ve only been with someone of the opposite sex, and you can’t really compare their sensations to yours. So how do you know if you could be doing a little more work? Ask yourself these questions to find out if you’re lazy in bed.

 

 

 

Don’t Grow Up, It’s A Trap: What I Wish I Had Known Before I Graduated From College

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Shutterstock

It’s college graduation time throughout the country. That wonderful time of the year when proud graduates filled with an insatiable desire to make their mark on the world experience the fruits of their labor and transition into the work force. I am several years removed from that symbolic day, but I can’t help but think about the things I know now that I wish I had known then.

At the time, I remember being so anxious to get the ball rolling on my career. Although, in all honesty, I can’t remember what it is that I was so hellbent on doing once I graduated. I had recently made a serious transition, moving to the West Coast to pursue a degree in visual effects. I realized rather quickly that the field wasn’t for me, but I knew in my heart of hearts that the film business was where I would land, in some way, shape or form. I had no job lined up after graduation, but I was ready to commit myself to that passion.

I was so ready that I talked about my desire to be a full on adult ad nauseam. I wanted to make my own money and do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it (because clearly, that’s what being an adult is all about.) But everyone suggested I slow my roll. They told me that I would one day miss college. A lot. That the freedoms and boundless opportunities within my university’s walls were unmatched to the harsh realities of “the real world.”

Pssh. Yeah, right.

I dismissed those comments with a quickness. But boy, were they on point. In college, I was enshrouded in a safe, highly structured bubble where all I really had to worry about was getting an education. Was it easy? No. But I didn’t have to worry about bills, other than tuition, which was covered by loans. I didn’t have to struggle to find a job, keep a job, or maintain that precious work-life balance that people talk about often.

Sometimes being a responsible adult ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, but you couldn’t have told me that then because I wouldn’t have listened.

I wish I knew that my diploma was a piece of paper, not an entitled ticket to job security. Higher education can unlock so many doors, but having a diploma doesn’t mean employers will come knocking on yours. As I’ve experienced many times over the years, finding a job is a job in and of itself. Though the schools I attended were like mini-cities in themselves, once I graduated, I was in a much larger pool filled with equally-qualified candidates, all looking for an opportunity to shine. Not to mention in the work force, “recent graduate” is akin to ground zero. It’s like being a freshman all over again. I knew it would take hard work and a serious commitment to earn my stripes, I just didn’t know how much.

I wish I knew the importance of networking. And not the shameless and selfish, give me what I want now kind of networking. I mean not being afraid to introduce myself to strangers at a party or showing up to events for the mere sake of being social. Sure, those conversations could have possibly led to something down the line, but even if they didn’t, they were prime confidence-building opportunities that could have helped to take the ping out of new, unfamiliar situations, of which I would face many.

I wish I knew more about money. I have so much student loan debt, it’s like Monopoly money at this point. The amount I’m asked to pay back monthly in relation to my income is laughable. (Good luck getting that back, Sallie Mae or Navient, whatever it is you call yourself now.) When you’re young, you don’t often think about your financial future. You live in the now instead of investing what little you can for those rainy days, which will inevitably come your way. Knowing what I know now, I would have enrolled in a 401K the first chance I had instead of thinking, I’ll do it later.

Lastly, I wish I knew to embrace the detours and to welcome failure. There is no set path or one way to achieve my goals. Getting to that endgame is a constantly evolving work in progress that often requires shifting details, rearranging projected timelines, working odd jobs or starting over entirely. And that’s perfectly okay. As long as I continue to follow my dreams, I’ll be okay. So if current me could go back in time to college graduation me and whisper a little somethin’ somethin’ (you know, without messing up the space-time continuum), I’d not only come prepared with this essay in hand, I’d say, “Congratulations. Now go forth and be brilliant.”

Ignoring The Hate Is Important To Your Survival

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Shutterstock

As people, we have an innate need to want to defend ourselves.  When faced with a danger, we’ve been given fight or flight reflexes, which come in handy during our daily trials in survival.

However, most things aren’t as dangerous in our everyday lives, like they were during neanderthal days.  While hunting for prey for dinner, those instincts kicked in so you wouldn’t become prey for a hungry mountain lion (or dog, I don’t really know what was going on back then).  While we don’t have to deal with those type of dangers, we still have those reflexes.

So with that, it might cause us to react to certain minuscule situations in very large ways.  You can usually see this type of behavior when you see others interacting with trolls (internet ones and flesh ones).

It definitely goes over my head how someone could target a person they don’t know (or don’t know well) and just relentlessly harass them.  But there are some people who live this life.  A life that revolves around getting a reaction from others by being malicious.

Because you’re being attacked, you’re going to want to protect yourself, or your reputation.  You’re not going to think twice about defending yourself, because why would you?  Even clownfish will talk their way out of conflicts, and use their communication skills to reinforce their social status.  It’s a normal desire to do so.

However, we’re living in a really weird time where trying to engage a person into harmless banter can lead down a barrage of insults and false accusations.  So how do you handle all this?  How do you know if someone is just trying to start a healthy conversation, or just attempting to bait you?

In all honesty, we’ll never know anyone’s true intentions but our own.  But what I do know is that instead of trying to gauge it, maybe just ignore it?  Now, I’m not saying to allow yourself to get bullied, but just like Jerry Seinfeld expressed to Wale, sometimes we give people the benefit of the doubt too much.  We engage a person spewing negativity because we think there’s something deeper behind it.  We give it substance that might not actually be there, when in all honesty, the person’s attempt is most likely only surface level.  A transparent attempt to get a rise out of you.

I have to be honest with you.  I’ve been experiencing a bit of existential crisis lately, trying to figure out what is the meaning of life.  What will we learn at the end of this mystical journey, and what lies beyond it?  Facing my own mortality has been causing me to want to try  to figure out what life really means, and I honestly don’t know.

But what I do know is that life is too short to engage someone who just wants a reaction from me.  I refuse to spend the limited time I have trying to convince a person who is intent on not liking me to change their mind about how they see me.  Why?  Because it’s not important to the daily trials of my survival.  I’d rather engage my fight or flight reflexes on something more important, like my jerk neighbors who let their bulldog wander the neighborhood.  A person’s unfounded opinion is the least of my concern, and it should be the least of yours as well.  Add substance to your life, by ignoring the people who are determined to remove it from you.  Life is too short.

 

Kendra Koger is quick with that block button on Twitter @kkoger.

 

Is Chivalry Taught To Young Men Nowadays, Or Is It A Thing Of The Past?

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Source: Shutterstock

There is something missing in the world of dating that has created a slight disconnect between the sexes when it comes to the way we treat each other. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, helping a woman put her coat on and take it off, and walking her to the door at the end of a great evening. Some of these things may sound strange, but they are a few acts of chivalry that many women don’t get to witness these days.

Being chivalrous is something many men rarely practice in today’s world of dating, and you can’t help but wonder why. Well, for starters, some have said that chivalry isn’t displayed because it’s not taught. However, it’s something you can’t teach step-by-step because it’s a learned behavior where men observe the actions of other men and take note. So if chivalry is something that is learned through observation, what are seasoned and experienced men showing the young men of our generation and those to come? We know they see the basics of how a man treats a woman while on a date, and even during a relationship. But this may not be enough to influence the minds and actions of growing men because of stronger outside influences from the media. And whether we want to admit it or not, television and film, song lyrics, and social media have quite the impact on how young men view and treat women.

While there are a great number of men who genuinely practice chivalry, there are others who don’t think it’s necessary to do so. These men believe it’s not appreciated, and women fail to recognize and respect it when it’s shown. It has also been said that chivalrous behavior is seen as a sign of weakness. And to top it all off, some men believe that gallant behavior is no longer a required standard for the two sexes. I know this sounds absurd, but to some extent, this statement has been proven to be true because women have failed to set quality standards for themselves in regard to the way they should be valued and treated. So many have become accustomed to half-baked treatment for the sake of having a relationship.

But on the flip side of things, it seems as though the roles of the sexes have been reversed. Nowadays you find more women courting men. They’re picking them up at the bar, and even picking up the check. A lot of women are more aggressive and open when it comes to matters of intimacy. In these circumstances, what’s a man to do? Yes, he should still be a gentleman, but you have to admit that it can be a bit challenging to be a chivalrous man to a woman who’s displaying chivalry. In fact, it can be kind of awkward. It’s possible that men may feel as though women don’t need chivalrous behavior since we all tend to step outside of gender roles when it comes to dating these days.

But chivalry is something that should be valued and appreciated by both men and women. It has not completely faded out. But if both men and women aren’t careful, chivalry will be dead as a doorknob, and the quality of dating will decline (even more so than it already has). If that happens, a bitter cycle of poor relationships (and poor behavior) will unfold for generations to come. Treat a lady like a lady, even if she doesn’t necessarily act like one to you, let a man lead the way, and let’s all live happily ever after.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray for?-a motivational speaker and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

Are You Ready For Virtual Love? Things To Consider With Online Dating

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Shutterstock

Thanks to modern technology there are so many ways to find love. If you don’t run into “the one” at the grocery store, there’s always the internet.

Online dating has definitely become popular over the years with more folks looking to make their virtual search a romantic reality. Should you be interested in giving it a try, here are a few things to consider.

Rich Millennial Women Are More Likely To Outearn Their Husbands Than Previous Generations

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There is no better time to be a young, rich woman than right now, CNN Money reports. Wealthy female Millennials are more likely to earn as much, if not more, than their male partners in comparison to previous generations.

In a new report, the U.S. Trust surveyed high net worth individuals, men and women with more than $3 million in investable assets. Investigators found that 30 percent of wealthy Millennial women were the primary breadwinners of the household. The study also found that another 21 percent women earned the same salary as their husbands. Comparing this figure to previous generations, Millennials are winning.

Just 15 percent of Generation X women, those born between 1964 and 1980, made more than their husbands. Eleven percent of Baby Boomers, born between 1946 and 1964, earned more than their male partners. And for women over the age of 70, just four percent reeled in more wealth than their husbands.

But that’s not all. Millennial women are now taking the reigns from their husbands when it comes to making financial decisions. Thirty-one percent of young, rich women are the primary decision makers in the household while 28 percent of high net worth men take the same role. CNN Money calls it “a major generational shift.”

Compare that 31 percent of female financial leaders to just 11 percent of Gen X women, nine percent of Baby Boomers, and one percent of “mature” ladies.

Because today’s wealthy young women are earning more than previous generations, they are more interested in planning and investing wealth. This, in turn, translates to the higher rate of women becoming the financial decision maker.

“We tell our employees that if you have clients who are married couples and you’re primarily talking to the husband, you have to change that,” said Chris Heilmann, chief fiduciary executive at the bank.

And here’s another surprise: Millennial men are taking far more responsibilities in child care than previous generations. Nearly a quarter of the high net worth males said they are the primary caretakers of their children. Just seven percent of Gen X, three percent of Baby Boomers, and four percent of mature men said the same.

The report is based on a national survey of 640 high net worth adults, 16 percent of whom identified as Millennials.