“I Understand How Much My Mother Really Cares About Me” Son Snatched Up On Tv Speaks Out

Son Snatched Up On Tv Speaks Out

Source: ABC News

All week, the news cycle has been captivated but the mother who literally shamed her son off the streets of Baltimore. In the midst of all the discussion, I heard several people suggest that this mother, Toya Graham, emasculated her son by smacking and pushing him for the nation, and probably the world to see.

Well, emasculated seemed a little strong to me. So, I was interested to see what the 16-year-old boy, Michael Singleton had to say about the whole incident once he got a chance to join his mother in speaking to the media.

ABC News sat down with mother and son and he explained the situation, from his point of view.

“I’m like, ‘Oh man! What is my momma doing down here?'” Michael said laughing about Monday’s incident.

“All my friends know my mother. Every time they see her they’re like, ‘Toya coming.’ Oh, yeah she’s coming. Everybody better get straight.”

And while he was inevitably clowned by his friends, he understands why his mother did it.

“I understand how much my mother really cares about me. I just got to try to do better.”

You can watch the full interview with these two in the video below.


ABC Breaking US News | US News Videos

TBT: That Time Kadeem Hardison And Cree Summer Dated

Thanks to Tribe Called Curl, I learned a new fun fact today. This might be old news to some of you, but I had no idea (or had forgotten) that Kadeem Hardison (Dwayne Wayne) and Cree Summer (Freddie Brooks) dated in real life.

Many of us watched the show and remember the undeniable chemistry between Dwayne and Whitley. So we were completely preoccupied with whether or not they were dating in real life. Turns out, it was another cast member who had his heart.

For those, like me, who didn’t know and need receipts, here they are. So, two years ago, Essence asked Hardison if it was awkward playing Jasmine Guy’s love interest while dating Cree Summer.

He said:

That wasn’t even my concern at the time. Dominic [Hoffman], Jasmine’s boyfriend at the time, did some spots on the show. It’s like you have your work wife and home wife. But your home wife also happens to work with you. As much as that could have been sticky, they were so in love with each, it was never an issue. Good God, if you thought me and Darryl (Ron) were close, he and Jasmine were inseparable. They brought out the silliness in each other. 

According to People, who spoke with both Hardison and Summer, the two only dated for a year but there are plenty of images capturing their union, including this one Cree recently posted on her Instagram page.

Being that so many of us believed in Whitley and Dwayne’s love, one of my coworkers had a hard time seeing these two together.

I think they were pretty adorable.

Aahhh…days gone by.

Damon Dash Arrest Warrant Issued, Owes Ex-Wife $342K

WENN

WENN

We’re not sure what Damon Dash is working on professionally, but it’s safe to assume that his personal affairs are in shambles. Shortly after losing custody of his daughters to his ex-wife Rachel Roy, an arrest warrant was issued for his arrest.

According to Bossip, Supreme Court Justice Matthew Cooper signed off on the warrant Wednesday when Dash pulled a no-show during another court appearance. The only way that Dash can avoid prison time is if he forks over $341,999 to Roy. According to the fashion designer’s attorney Donald Suares, her ex-husband–whom she divorced in 2009—owes $91, 249 in child support and school and camp tuition. Suares also says that Dash owes Roy $250, 750 because he violated their divorce agreement by defaulting on the mortgages on their New York homes. He has also been ordered to pay an additional $25,000 towards his ex-wife’s legal fees.

“He failed on his default,” Judge Cooper said. “He has failed to appear.”

“I will issue a warrant,” he continued, “unless he can avoid arrest by purging contempt, and the purge is $341,999.”

Interestingly, Dash also claims that Roy owes him money He filed a lawsuit last week in Manhattan Supreme Court alleging that she mismanaged Royale Etenia, a fashion company that the duo started together prior to the divorce.

It’s so unfortunate that things have come to this. Hopefully, Dash has the cash to keep himself from behind bars.

Why Am I Crying?! 15 Feelings Only Women Understand

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Men and women may get along, but sometimes it really does feel like we’re from different planets. When it comes to these joys and struggles, they’re feelings only women understand.

“Tina, Do You Know I’m Nominated For Four Dove Awards?” Erica Campbell Gets Hollywood [Watch]

Erica Campbell

JLN Photography/WENN.com

What we love most about Tina and Erica Campbell is that they seem to have an unbreakable sisterly bond. Although it seems unlikely that they’ll ever allow business to completely ruin their relationship with one another, it does appear that Erica’s decision to release a solo project has placed a strain on their situation. And now that Tina has decided to put out her own solo album, it’s looking like the ladies will have to fight harder than ever to keep it all together.

In a clip of tonight’s episode exclusively obtained by MadameNoire, tension flares between the sisters after Tina asks Erica and Goo to sing background on a few songs from her upcoming album. Almost immediately, Erica and her hubby Warryn Campbell show signs of apprehension. According to Warryn, Erica is way too busy to sing background for Tina.

“I have a solo career and I’m a mother of three,” Erica tells Tina.

Of course, that’s completely understandable. Erica is a busy woman, but Tina quickly reminds her that she sang background for her on Help and it’s time to return the favor. Unfortunately, the clip doesn’t reveal whether or not Erica folds and decides to sing background for Tina or not. But I have a feeling that if she doesn’t, all hell will break loose.

I can understand both arguments, but if my sister came through for me when I needed her, I’d try my best to come through for her as well. Hopefully these ladies are able to work things out.

Check out the clip below and let us know your thoughts.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

How My Pregnancy Kept Me Out Of Trouble

How My Pregnancy Kept Me Out Of Trouble

Source: Shutterstock

It always catches me off guard when people remark, with some type of astonishment, that they can’t believe I grew up in a predominantly female environment with little drama.  My father was the only male in a house full of women. (Four daughters, a wife, and my aunt who moved in with us when she was about 13 until she went off to college and grad school).  I thought it was a fairly normal environment to grow up in; but when people, usually girls would tell me:  “Nuh-uhn, all those females?!  I couldn’t take it!” Is when I begin to think that maybe it’s not as normal as I thought.

I realized that the reason why a house full of women was never a big deal for me was because of the mindset that my father instilled in us.  He always told us that we were family and at the end of the day we needed to always be there for each other.  Growing up with this in my mind helped me to deal with any sense of competition and jealousy and helped us each to develop a sense of camaraderie.

That eventually translated into my normal life.  So, I don’t understand women who can’t have female friends. There are already too many things playing against women in this world for us to be fighting each other.  If, for no other reason, we need to help build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

So that’s how live my life, but I had a bit of a moment where even I struggled, because this chick… was trying me.

A few months after my (ex)husband and I started dating, I came acquainted with this woman named Amanda.*

When I first met her, before he and I started dating, she was rude but I shrugged it off because life is too short to try to make someone like you. But, once he and I became more serious, she was just… so… extra.  I’d never seen anything like it before in my life, readers, but I was committed to ignoring it.

After I became pregnant and married, I guess I just assumed that things would stop but they didn’t.  In fact, she just continued to go even harder.  She would text my guy about how much weight I was putting on (she didn’t know I was pregnant then), and asking what he even saw in me, and I was just irritated.

One night, while we were driving he told me that the reason why she was probably being so aggressive with the both of us was because he was “talking” to her before I came along.

All of a sudden, things clicked and my father’s words came back into my mind.  I told my guy that I wanted to apologize to her because, as a woman, I’ve been in her shoes before.  I’ve been with a guy once before where we were “talking.” I was thinking it was leading to something, and then all of a sudden I see him holding hands with his “girlfriend” without a single notice.  I wanted to let her know that I empathized with her, and never wanted to rub our relationship in her face, and maybe we could have a clean slate.  However, my guy begged me not to because, “it’s my role to talk to her.  Don’t get in the middle of it.”

“Well, are you going to talk to her?”

“No.”

*Eye roll*

So the next day, when we interacted I saw her in a new light.  Her behavior had a reason behind it, as I tried to give her an encouraging “We-Are-Women” smile, she not only continued to be the most irritating person I had to endure, she seemed to get worse.  Almost like she was getting joy in any type of pain that she inflicted on me, my feelings, and my relationship.

After a while, the new light I saw her in not only dimmed, but turned into a haze of anger.  I felt like:  Not only am I trying to be sympathetic to this girl about her feelings, she’s going to continue to disregard mine?!  I mean, all the time I felt guilty for her heartbreak. And any way that I might have made her question herself, and she just CONTINUES to act crazy!  And if she sends one more text to him talking about my fat thighs…

But things changed when I had my first ultrasound and the little baby, who is now my adorable four year old, started kicking her legs brought everything back full circle for me.

At that moment, it wasn’t my duty to protect Amanda’s feelings and it wasn’t my duty to be indignant.  It was my duty to protect my child because I knew that at the end of the day, whatever I felt, my child felt.  It was up to me to make sure that her environment was one of peace, because she didn’t deserve to have her health compromised just because Mommy can’t keep her cool.

After a while Amanda’s and my paths stopped crossing.  However, as I raise my daughter with the same knowledge that my parents raised me, I try to instill in her that self-preservation is the greatest strength she can hold.

But, even though a few years have passed I’ve recently reached out to Amanda to give her not just the apology that I wanted to then, but to add to it now.  I wanted to tell her that not only did I understand her behavior but I no longer held it against her.  I also wanted to let her know that in this world there seems to forces trying keep Black women at odds, especially along shade lines. I wanted to let her know that if she ever needed something that I was capable to help her with, I would.  My father always said:  “We have bigger things to worry about than each other,” and that’s an example that I’m trying to set for my daughter.

Amanda never responded.

The Fight For Inclusion Within The Plus-Size Revolution

Corbis

Corbis

There appears to be a movement of sorts happening within the mainstream culture to declare that there is beauty at any size.

Lane Bryant has an ad about beauty at any size. So does Curvy Kate Lingerie in the UK, and the Dove beauty brand. Recently, MiLK Management made history by signing size 22 model Tess Munster (aka, Tess Holliday). Moreover, even Sports Illustrated, despite having made its living by selling a very particular slim body archetype as the standard of s*xy and beautiful, has joined the body positivity movement and featured two models of much curvier measurements within its pages.

Yet in spite of what appears to be a changing tide in how the mainstream defines and markets beauty, one thing remains the same: Racially, that standard continues to be pretty homogenous and exclusionary to women of color.

Not only are most of the faces featured in the ads for this recent plus-size renaissance white women, but when there are women of color featured in these body positive campaigns, they are usually featured in a sea of white bodies, this even as Black women remain the face of obesity in America.

“I just think that sometimes the media will pick up and embrace a white person over a person of color, each and every time. No matter if it is modeling or some other industry, it is just so hard out here for Black women to get praise,” said Chenese Lewis, plus-size model, public speaker, and current host of The Chenese Lewis Show.

In 2003, Lewis, who is originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, became the first woman crowned Miss Plus America. With the title under her belt, she decided to move to Los Angeles to chase her dream of plus-size modeling and acting.

At only 5’6″ tall and a size 22 (the plus-size industry standard is at least 5’9″ and between the sizes of 10 to 14), Lewis said she already knew the road to stardom would be tough. However, she did not expect the level of discrimination she felt even among the plus-size community.

Even as plus-size retailers market to women up to size 24, Lewis said models they hired were no bigger than a size 10, often too small to even the fit the clothing they were advertising. “Tess Munster is getting lots of attention now, but it just didn’t work with me,” said Lewis.

Even worse than the size discrimination within plus-size modeling was the discrimination she faced as a Black model. Lewis said that many of the auditions, or “Go-sees” would explicitly request Caucasian models. And on the rare occasion they were looking for Black models, Lewis said that they rarely hired a woman who was darker than a paper bag.

Unable to find an agency to represent her, Lewis did mostly freelance modeling and acting, which she found through connections she made by networking and hustling. In spite of the daily grind, she said that her national title did help her successfully land some gigs, including a campaign she did with Torrid and a number of modeling jobs with independent designers in the Los Angeles area.

“The downside of it all was that I didn’t always have the contacts and connections that agents already have. So I missed out on lots of work,” she said.

Lewis speculates that one of the reasons why many agencies and brands themselves may not be so keen on hiring Black models is because many retailers do not believe that African-American models can sell the products to middle White America. “But it is just not true as many of us are not only their biggest customers but the most loyal to brands,” she said.

Eventually, Lewis would abandon her dreams of making it in L.A. and continue her independent work closer to home. Today, she hosts her own online talk show geared to plus-size women and has become a body positivity motivational speaker. While she doesn’t do lots of mainstream modeling (with the exception of a campaign she recently landed with a cosmetic company), she has been able to find great success within the plus-size community, working with independent designers and publications.

“The demographics between the plus-size industry and the plus-size community are just different,” said Lewis. “The industry is geared to more White plus-size models, but the community is mostly led by Black women and the audiences are mostly Black women too. Plus, the plus-size community is more accepting of more diverse body types.”

Echoing a similar sentiment is Marie Leggett, fashion blogger, and founder of the wildly popular site Curvy Fashionista. She said that the Internet has become the great equalizer between the mainstream plus-size industry and the actual plus-size community. Gabi Gregg, aka GabiFresh, is a prime example of how plus-size fashionistas have been able to galvanize large audiences and turn their popularity into work within the mainstream, including a swimsuit line with Swimsuits For All and a print ad campaign with Target.

However, Leggett also contends that Gregg, among others, does not get the recognition she deserves.

“Even when you look at [plus-size fashion] blogging, you don’t see black women getting recognition period. Elle magazine recently did a ‘best of’ fashion bloggers and didn’t include a single plus-size blogger, many of whom are Black,” Leggett said.

She says that these conversations about racial inclusion are often difficult ones to have, considering that the plus-size community is still fighting to get recognition within the mainstream modeling and retail industry. However, she also said that even within the plus-size community, particularly among retailers and brands, there is a reluctance to address the problem. Some brands are better than others, like Ashley Stewart, which has routinely featured women of a variety of colors.

However, she believes that other brands like Lane Bryant have been slow to accept and encourage inclusion. According to Leggett, the reason is obvious: When you do not have diversity in corporate settings then you find a lack diversity within marketing. “The challenge is for the media and brands to step outside of their box and realize that there are people who are supporting and reading who exist outside of their own bubble,” she said.

But she does feel that social media and the online plus-size fashion community have been good at forcing retailers and brands alike to have the conversation. Not only will she not feature a brand on her site that doesn’t feature diversity, but many of her readers will openly denounce and even boycott a brand that fails to feature women, and men, who look like them in their advertisements. “It’s about leveraging our platforms to bring about change,” she said.

Jill Andrews and Aisha Fairclough, co-founders of the blog Fat in the City as well as the founders of the Body Confidence Canada Awards, know all too well the value of leveraging platforms. Through their annual awards, now in its fifth year (and will commence again on September 9), the two body positive activists honor individuals, artists, businesses and organizations whose work challenges the public perception of what the ideal body is supposed to look like.

Still, outside the work that the two engage in to honor inclusion, both activists contend that the body positivity movement in general remains homogeneously white.

“Are there Black women in the body positivity movement? The answer is yes. Are we allowed to be the face of it? Then I would have to say no,” said Fairclough. “More often than not, that face is white while Black women are seen as just fat.”

Andrews cosigns Fairclough’s sentiments:

“The whole thing reminds me of the second wave of feminist movements where Black and other -isms were pushed to the margins in favor of the interests of white women. I mean look how Gabby Sidibe is mocked and what not, although she is very comfortable in her weight and yet [actress and comedian] Melissa McCarthy gets to be the face of the body acceptance movement. Why is it okay for the Black woman’s body to be the sickly pathologized body, but the white female body is this new wave of feminist empowerment?”

For Fairclough, who works as a television producer by day, her work within the body positivity movement is a way to honor the fat Black women whom many of us have known all of our lives, but weren’t allowed to see their bodies as progressive. For Andrews, who has a master’s degree in gender studies and regularly lectures about Black women and body image, her activism was a matter of coming to terms with her own often disjointed relationship with her body.

“The body is the most important thing we have in this world. Not only do we have it to keep us alive, but when we walk into this world, it is something that people either give us status for or take status away for, depending on how our body is read,” she said.

Andrews said that this complicated relationship she has with her body is not unusual within the Black community, however, the misconception, mostly brought on by the “strong Black women” trope, is that all Black women are totally happy with our bodies.

However, her own research has shown that Black people do have issues with body image.

“If we expand the conversation just from how we think we look to how we feel about our bodies, including our skin complexion, our hair texture, and our facial features coupled with how we feel about our weight, then we will realize that women of color do have lots to say about our bodies and no we are not all perfectly fine with how we look,” said Andrews.

Andrews and Fairclough both believe that these tropes and misconceptions are the number one reason why more Black women need to be forceful about our inclusion in both the mainstream plus-size industry and in the body positivity movement. “We need to have conversations with leaders of these body confidence movements to get them to understand their own privilege even as they are recognizing how they are marginalized because they are fat,” said Andrews.

Fairclough adds, “We have to be at the table. We have to be seen. We have to be heard. We have to continue producing media. Is Elle magazine going to put a Black woman on the cover on its own? Probably not. Well, then we have to become editors. We have to become writers. And we have to become authors of our own stories. Otherwise, we will remain invisible.”

 

It’s Over: Trina Braxton Divorce Finalized

Credit: Winston Burris/WENN.com

Credit: Winston Burris/WENN.com

Well, it’s official y’all.

After several years of making up and breaking up with husband Gabriel “Gabe” Solis, Trina Braxton is officially a single woman. According to The Jasmine Brand, a judged in Georgia finalized the pair’s divorce earlier this month.

Braxton has never really tried to hide the fact that she and Solis had a tumultuous marriage. Infidelity seemed to be a major factor in the couple’s 12-year marriage.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Trina has filed for divorce from Gabe and, to be honest, we’re kind of surprised that she actually followed through with it this time. According to the reality star, her family played a huge role in the decision to divorce.

“It’s more than just myself; it’s more than just me and Gabe. It’s me and it’s Gabe and it’s our family. We have two children who we both love,” she said back in 2013. “So, right now we’re concentrating on being good parents. My oldest son is in college and my youngest is in 10th grade so, it’s a long haul.”

Although we hate to see marriages fail, divorce seems like it was probably the best option for Trina and Gabe at this point. After years and years of trying to make things work, it became apparent after a while that these two simply could not get it together.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Maryland Republican Patrick McDonough Believes Protesters Should Have Welfare Benefits Revoked

Patrick McDonough

Wiki

Republican Maryland State Delegate Patrick McDonough has suggested that, in the face of the Baltimore Uprising, families whose children that participate in the protests against the unlawful death of Freddie Gray should not be able to receive food stamps anymore.

On a Baltimore radio program, a caller asked McDonough if it would be possible to “take away benefits from families, from like the parents who are collecting welfare.” McDonough responded by agreeing: “That’s an idea and that could be legislation. I think that you could make the case that there is a failure to do proper parenting and allowing this stuff to happen, is there an opportunity for a month to take away your food stamps?”

McDonough continued to note that a scientific study is needed to understand the mindset of protesters which he labeled as “thug nation”:

“These young people, they’re violent, they’re brutal, their mindset is dysfunctional to a point of being dangerous. We have got to study, investigate, and really look at what this is all about.”

One of the issues that has come to the forefront since protests began in Baltimore is the tragic state of economic affairs that many Black residents live under. Poverty, joblessness and a lack of opportunity are among the problems that these citizens are raising awareness of. Punishing Black people for speaking out against police brutality is not only egregious on its face, State Delegate McDonough is advocating for taking away more resources from an already impoverished city.

Listen to McDonough’s radio segment below:

Do you think families of protesters should have their welfare benefits taken away?

via Raw Story

15 Ways Sex In A Long Term Relationship Is Actually Great

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Is sex in singledom really more fun? Long term relationship sex gets a bad rap, but it definitely has its perks!

Nepal’s Economy Plummets After 7.8 Magnitude Earthquake Shatters Its Tourism Industry

nepal earthquake

David Ramos/Getty Images

The calamitous earthquake in Nepal lasted only 40 seconds, but according to the Associated Press, the south Asian country will take years to recover.

The 7.8 magnitude quake rattled Nepal to a point of economic annihilation. The impoverished nation heavily depends on tourism to shoulder its pecuniary affairs, but now, with Nepal in shambles, it’s unclear when travelers will return.

“Tourists are fleeing because of the continuing aftershocks, which have brought fear and terror,” Hari Man Lama, of Incentive Tours, a travel company in Kathmandu. “There’s fear of the spread of disease because of the dead bodies that are still unburied and the lack of water and supplies.”

As governments issue travel advisories for Nepal-bound tourists, travelers are cancelling their trips.

“This disaster is going to bring a big loss to the travel industry and to the tens of thousands of people who depend on the tourists for their livelihood,” Lama added.

Last year, 800,000 tourists visited Nepal, which features eight of the world’s 14 highest peaks  including Mount Everest. The quake struck Nepal during its peak tourist season and destroyed almost half of the UNESCO World Heritage sites in Kathmandu, including Durbar Square with pagodas and temples dating from the 15th to 18th centuries, and triggered avalanches on Everest that killed 19.

According to the Asian Development Bank, tourism accounts for eight percent of the economy and seven percent of jobs.

Experts say that Nepal is now suffering with billions of dollars in damage. Asia-Pacific economist Rajiv Biswas says that the price tag on the quake’s destruction exceeds $5 million. Another report from the U.S. Geological Service speculates an expense of $1 billion to $10 billion. Others say that it’s just too early to make estimates.

The question is, how will the Himalayan country get back on its feet? For now, Nepal is relying on foreign aid. The government is ill-equipped to manage relief efforts. The Asian Development Bank has already donated $3 million for urgent relief; the organization promised another $200 million for the first stage of restoration. The United Nations requested $415 million for Nepal over the next three months.

Nepal, a developing nation, is ranked high in corruption with a 126th ranking out of 174 countries. Looking at other earthquake-rattled nations with poor infrastructure, it’s not looking good for Nepal in terms of recovery.

“Haiti is still floundering five years after an earthquake killed more than 300,000,” the AP said.

(h/t The Huffington Post)

Oxygen To Expose Cheaters With New Reality Show, “Player Gets Played”

 

Atlanta

Atlanta

Oxygen is switching things up a bit with their new reality show, “Players Get Played,” which provides suspicious women with the opportunity to bust their cheating boyfriends. Instead of simply leaving them to wallow in their heartbreak, Oxygen will be assisting the betrayed women in getting back at their philandering partners. The network describes the series:

Each episode follows one woman with a lurking suspicion as she uncovers the heartbreaking reality that she is not the only love in her boyfriend’s life. After discovering the truth with the help of social media and friends, the ladies join together without letting the “player” in on their plan and plot a surprising reveal designed to teach him a lesson.

“‘Player Gets Played’ takes a look at women who unite on a journey to reclaim their hearts and power,” said Rod Aissa, Executive Vice President of Original Programming and Development, Oxygen Media. “From heartbreak to major soul searching, each episode will share relatable journeys that connect women to each other, which is a key ingredient to an Oxygen show and resonates profoundly with our viewers.”

“Player Gets Played” is produced by DiGa. The executive producers for the series are Tony DiSanto, Liz Gateley and Cheryl Horner Sirulnick. The series premieres on June 10  at 9:30 pm ET/PT.

Check out a sneak peek of “Players Get Played” below. Thoughts?

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Let Your Heart Guide You: Ways To Make A Splash In A New Industry

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

I’m a firm believer that all of us have different paths. While we might be good at a particular task or have working knowledge of a certain industry, that doesn’t mean we’re a one-trick pony.

For as long as I can remember, I had no clue what I wanted to do in my adult years. In college I made the decision to study architecture and design that later turned into an art history degree. During those years I worked in the interior design industry designing model homes and helping clients with new construction endeavors. It was a really fun gig that made me feel complete in many ways.

However once the recession hit — and thus the end of the housing boom — I randomly accepted a job at a global financial institution where I worked with clients to help plan for their retirement. This was a bit short-lived (I think I only stayed for a year and a half) as I found more copies of Architectural Digest around my cubicle than The Wall Street Journal. Following my gut, I packed my bags, moved to the New York City area and started an interior decorating business that morphed over the years into a lifestyle website.

As much as I love design, I’m discovering it doesn’t fill me the way it did in the past. There are so many issues and topics outside my industry that tug on my heart strings that could very well lead me to a completely different arena.

Whether life forces your hand through an unexpected circumstance or you make the decision, it’s okay to take the chance. I know lawyers who left their careers to start a catering business. You would think they were nuts for wasting such a prestigious degree–and spending hundreds of thousands on an education–but if it makes them happy, let them be happy.

Have you ever felt like you should pursue another venture outside of what you know?

It’s actually pretty common.

Before you make the leap, it’s important to make the right moves that will help ensure future success. Here are a few tips.

Find out all there is to know. Sure you might think you know about an industry but don’t make a jump based off assumptions. Research everything you can about your new path: its growth rate and requirements (e.g. certifications and degrees). If you know anyone who’s currently operating in the arena, reach out to them to get insider tea.

Look for transferable skills. No matter how far apart you think your new industry is, there’s a good chance you can apply current skills to your future job. Look for any openings that hint at job requirements, and pay attention to noticeable patterns. This will help you tailor your resume to show off any relevant experience and knowledge you already have.

Be willing to start over. I don’t care if you’ve been in your current field for over a decade, if you need to start over in order to pursue a new industry, you have to do it. Don’t rule out things like lateral moves, internships, or even volunteer opportunities that can align you with the right people. Humility and hard work can take you far in life.

Why I’m Just Getting My First Credit Card At 27

first credit card

Shutterstock

I first realized my relationship with money had worsened during my free-spirited days at Norfolk State University. Sallie Mae’s deep pockets fully financed my course load during that time (and a little extra for books and some spending money). Ever since then it has been an uphill battle to regulate my budget while climbing out of steep debt that averages about a hundred grand. Add to that the fact that I am now a 27-year-old freelance writer and that checks don’t always come on time, and it is safe to say that my money can be quite funny. Nonetheless, even with the financial hurdles and constant #BBHMM (“B***h Better Have My Money”) attitude, I always believed a credit card led you down a winding rabbit hole to a financial abyss. I ignored the applications in the mail and assumed that a credit card would make a tough situation even worse.

Until a few weeks ago.

My financial illiteracy started as a kid. Growing up, I never wanted for much. My dad, with his own set of emotional issues tied to the almighty dollar, bought me almost anything I asked for. As for my mom, well, I learned later on that she made ends meet with ease having witnessed her mother struggle to do the same before her. It was not until my parents split, and I matriculated into middle school, that I realized my family was not sitting on piles of cash. Debt pretty much became a part of my family. Still, I received an allowance like any other teenager, opened birthday and Christmas gifts I’d asked for (but most likely not the entire laundry list of ridiculous items desired), and had enough lettuce, so to speak, to eat and hang with friends after school. This made it pretty difficult to understand the importance of having and saving money.

By 17, I’d finally acquired my first taste of employment (to this day, I still hate that looming smell of popcorn when I enter any Target and the sterile scent of a nursing home). However, making my own money created even more of a financial monster. With the help of team sports, our local mall, my boyfriend, and gas prices, money did not last long after payday (see: shopping).

Fast forward to that hellish window of time post-graduation before you gain your footing in the world. The financial stains I acquired from living in New York City as an unpaid intern (so much fun…) wreaked havoc on my wallet and wrestled away the tight grip I’d had on my simple finances. Even after I snagged my first salary-paying gig, I was renting a room in Brooklyn, racking up more bills (and paying off old ones because such is life) and fighting the ever-present dark cloud of “unforeseen expenses.” It was tough. Eventually, all of these spinning plates converged, making it imperative to reroute my habits with money in order to build stronger credit and map out a budget that reflects my means.

So after extensive research (and harsh warnings from my sister), I made a major decision a few weeks back. I found that having a credit card on ice could be both great for emergencies and a springboard toward the type of good credit that’ll set homeownership and healthy financial fitness in my sights. It takes discipline though.

Understanding your money and designing a realistic financial plan is the only way to keep your head above choppy financial waters. Therefore, balling out at brunch or taking weekly trips to Topshop must take a back seat to the bigger picture. Even traveling must sometimes be nixed or found for cheap in order to bring proper balance to your finances in the long run. If I could give my younger self any advice, I’d remind her to simply be smarter; save at least 10% of every paycheck; know that every party doesn’t have to be attended; and realize that keeping up with the Joneses is a frivolous feat.

So as I stare at my mailbox in anticipation to start a new financial chapter, one that requires less free-spirited spending, and more economic responsibility, I look forward to breaking the financial illiteracy that often runs rampant in my family and build a strong financial future my kids can one day be proud of.

Q&A: CeCe Peniston Returns With A New Look, New Music, & New Business Ventures

Photo via Cecepeniston.com

Photo via Cecepeniston.com

Remember the hits “We Got A Love Thang,” “Finally,”  “Keep On Walkin'”? In the 1990s and early 2000s CeCe Peniston was wowing audiences internationally. Then it seemed Peniston, who was born in September 1969 in Dayton, Ohio, stepped away from the limelight.

Thing is Peniston never really went away. But at one point she decided to reinvent herself. Not just her musical career, but herself. She wanted to get into top shape for wellness reasons, and she wanted to prove that no matter what ,anyone can start over.

Based in Phoenix where she spent for formative years, Peniston started out like many great singers — in the church. From early on she couldn’t get enough of performing; she did plays, musicals, and talent shows while learning to play the piano. Then in 1987 when Peniston, still a high school student, was chosen for a part in a local production of the Broadway musical Bubbling Brown Sugar. But though entertainment was calling, Peniston went on to earn her diploma and continue on to the University of Phoenix to study Liberal Arts.

By 1989, Peniston was crowned Miss Black Arizona and reigned as Miss Galaxy in 1990.

In 1991, a friend and record producer Felipe “DJ Wax Dawg” Delgado asked her to record back-up vocals for a female rapper slated to release an album on A&M Records. Soon after, Peniston landed her own solo project commissioned by then A&M Records music executive Manny Lehman. And when the song “Finally” was released, there was no turning back.

During the next decade, Peniston became one of the most successful dance club artists in the history of the U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Music/Club Play Charts. She scored five major number one hits within three years. Her signature dance hit “Finally” was #5 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart and #2 on the UK Top 75. It was actually one of the biggest dance records in history, selling over three million copies worldwide.

By the end of 1992, Peniston received several awards and performed around the world.

Then Peniston began to reach back and did community work. In June 2008, Peniston released “Above Horizons,” a national PTA anthem as a tribute to the families, teachers and communities who help children reach their dreams through the Parent Teacher Association. This resulted from her role as National Ambassador of the US largest volunteer child advocacy organization.

Now the singer, writer and performer is ready for the next stage in her career–and her life.

She’s changed her lifestyle and committed herself to fitness and wellness. She has even done a fitness DVD called “The Fitness Journey”  to inspire others on this path.

She has new music coming out, collaborating with the likes of Anthony Hamilton and singer/songwriter Calvin Richardson. She also worked with the late great house music producer Frankie Knuckles before he died.

The first single off of her new album is entitled “Nothing Can Stop Me Now.”

She is debuting a new line of bathing suits and accessories.

And in the process she has tapped into social media to advance all of her projects. You can find here everywhere–YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook, with a fan base that has reached well over 100,000 people.

MadameNoire: Lately, you’ve been venturing into other business areas besides entertainment. Why?
CeCe Peniston: I’m excited to step out of my comfort zone, for me it’s sort of a challenge to figure some things out. With my new ventures, I basically just decided I want to do it and I just did it. Of course, I did research and planned.

With fitness, I decided that I wanted to get into shape and my passion for fitness and a desire to help other people do the same made me decide to do a fitness video. People always tell me they want to work out to my songs, so what not make a fitness DVD. I am in the best shape of my life. I didn’t just do the DVD because I am a celebrity, but also I did the hard work.

I look to release the DVD in six months. I am working on getting a distributor now and clearing the music licenses.

MN: You look great. You really did get into fitness.
CP: So much so that I decided to compete in a fitness competition. And I put this out there on social media in order to hold myself accountable. I trained hard with my trainer and when the day came, I was so nervous. I must have called my trainer from the competition 10 times. It took me six months to train for the competition. It was hard and took longer than it should because I had to train between gigs.

But in the end, I am so glad I accomplished this. I would love to do more competitions going forward.

MN: You are also venturing into swimsuits.
CP: My girlfriend suggested a bathing suit line and we are creating it together. We are calling the line Sew Unique Bathing Suits. My girlfriend and I are designing, and there will be some unique pieces. For example, you might find jewelry on some of the suits.

Some of the line will just be for show–you DO NOT swim in them.  I always wanted a mink bathing suit, so we have created one. Suits like this will just be for lounging.

We will be debuting the suits in June at a show in Arizona.

MN: Then there is your new music.
CP: Yeah! I am really excited. The album, which is still untitled, is going to be a mixture of styles, from dance to R&B to House. People say why don’t you focus on one. I say, “Why should I be in a damned box, if I like to do different things.”

I will have a new single in a few weeks; we are test marketing it now. We test every single by getting feedback from radio programmers.

Also it’s the 25th anniversary of  “Finally,” so we are planning something special. Girl, I still have the whole outfit from that video and it fits so I might wear it in a new video to celebrate the anniversary.

I also just signed on as the face of She The Queen of Beer and no part owner of She Beer. It’s beer especially for women.

 

MN: Isn’t this a lot to promote?
CP: I am making use of social media as a marketing tool. It’s a great way to market yourself and your projects. It’s a free marketing tool.

I am also thinking about how to do cross promotions, maybe a swimsuit show using my new music and offering She Beer.

MN: All in all, what can fans expect from the “new” CeCe Peniston?
CP: I think people expect you to change… to keep in shape, to keep up in fashion.  I’m keeping it young but not being immature and not trying to be competitive with the kids. Also I don’t have music that sounds dated.

The key is knowing what works for you, constantly reinventing yourself. Music is changing, fashions are changing.  Keep on top of your game.

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

Are You Mad Miss Piggy Is Receiving A Feminism Award?

miss piggy

Source: Getty Images

Earlier this week, the Associated Press reported that Miss Piggy was going to be honored with a very prestigious award.

The award, given by the Brooklyn Museum, honors women who have made outstanding contributions in their fields. And though Miss Piggy is technically not a woman, they’ve made an exception in their decision to recognize her.

Elizabeth Sackler, founder of the awards for the Center for Feminist Art, says that Miss Piggy, who embodies “spirit, determination and grit,” has taught many of us lessons about overcoming obstacles.

Miss Piggy joins the ranks of other notable women like Toni Morrison and Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’ Connor.

Piggy, who was dubbed the “The Gloria Steinem of the Muppet World” by The Daily Beast, will be interviewed by the real Steinem at a June 4 ceremony. Kermit will also attend.

But, as with most things, not everybody is happy about the recognition. When I saw the story on Jezebel, I noticed that one commenter raised a few interesting points. This person argued that not only is Miss Piggy not a woman, giving her this award took the honor away from another deserving woman. Not only that, Miss Piggy was created and literally controlled by men. Over the years, it has been mostly men who’ve given this memorable muppet her voice as well as her mobility.

Another person suggested that Miss Piggy is too concerned about chasing after “a man,” (aka Kermit)  to be considered a feminist. Someone said that Miss Piggy is far too materialistic and vain to be awarded like this.

Other commenters argued that Miss Piggy is a great symbol of feminism. She is by far, one of the strongest, most vocal and assertive female characters we’ve seen in media…ever. And not only that, in addition to running after Kermit, Miss Piggy made sure to achieve her other dreams. Her wikipedia page lists three occupations for this diva. She’s an actress, singer and magazine editor. So she wasn’t just determined when it came to getting her man.

And the most striking for me, as a young girl was seeing how Miss Piggy boldly and unapologetically embraced her body. She is thick…nay fat but that never, ever kept her from being and exuding fabulousness. Body positivity on fleek.

As for me, I’m all here for Miss Piggy receiving this award.

Feminism is often perceived as some elusive, man-hating, lesbian, angry coalition of White women. And that’s just not true. A feminist is someone, of any gender, who believes that men and women should be politically, socially and economically equal to men.

So men, including Miss Piggy’s performers, could very well be feminists. And even if they weren’t, they subconsciously sent, in my opinion, a very strong feminist message to generations of children and adults.

Miss Piggy was, and still is very vain, with sometimes unfounded confidence in her abilities. She was and still is materialistic. But a feminist doesn’t have to be a picture-perfect example of finer womanhood.  He or she just has to believe in equality.

So, with that being said, I’m more than here for Miss Piggy receiving this award. Because she deserves it. She let a lot of little girls, little boys and even some grown folks know that a woman who spoke her mind and went after what she wanted could still be lovable.

I don’t have argue Miss Piggy’s case though. Despite the naysayers, she’s already issued a statement of acceptance for the award, saying:

“Moi is thrilled.” 

Long live Miss Piggy!

What’s The No.1 Factor In Job Satisfaction For Employees? Respect

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

One would think that a sweet salary package would launch employees into job satisfaction heaven, but no — instead, it’s the one thing that Aretha Franklin has been singing about for years: R-e-s-p-e-c-t. According to CNN Money, being treated with courtesy is the No.1 desire among workers.

A new survey conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 72 percent rated “respectful treatment of all employees at all levels” as the most important factor in job satisfaction. Trust, landing in second place, is another big one; 64 percent hope for a good level of dependability between employees and senior management.

Benefits landed in third place with 63 percent, compensation and salary followed a close fourth with 61 percent, and job security sat in fourth place with 59 percent. It’s interesting that benefits were listed as more significant than salary, but this is due to increasing concerns about healthcare costs, according to the Chicago Tribune.

Zooming in on benefits, survey takers rated paid time off as most important, followed by health insurance and work/life balance.

The study found that since employees rated corporate culture quite high in job satisfaction, the lead investigators, according to the Tribune, suggested the following:

“…[I]n order for HR professionals to implement successful retention and recruitment strategies, their tools must be deployed equally between these financial elements — such as paying competitive salaries and offering flexible work benefits — and cultural qualities of the workplace, which may include a heavy emphasis on employee engagement.”

The survey noted that overall job satisfaction increased in 2014 to 86 percent from 81 percent the year prior. This is the highest level it has ever been in a decade. Pay increases jumped in 2013 — 63 percent got some extra pocket change, that’s seven percentage points higher than the year before. Half received a bonus, up from 36 percent.

This survey included a random sample of 600 participants who are employed in full-time or part-time jobs.

Maryland State Attorney Marilyn Mosby Will Decide Whether The Officers Who Arrested Freddie Gray Face Charges

via Twitter

via Twitter

Baltimore is in trouble –no doubt. But is there one person who can help turn things around?  A lot is riding on the shoulder of recently elected State’s Attorney Marilyn Mosby, who is Black and from a family of cops. It is she who will decide whether to move forward on the Freddie Gray case. She will decide on whether to charge any police officers in Freddie Gray’s death.

The city’s 35-year-old state’s attorney was raised in the inner city. And her husband, who is also African-American, is a Baltimore city councilman.

Here’s a twist: Her father, mother, and grandfather were police officers. She set her sights on becoming a prosecutor when she was 14, after her teenage cousin was a victim of violence. Her cousin was shot to death in a robbery right outside her family’s home. “The cousin, 17-year-old Diron Spencer, was a college-bound honor student described by all as the perfect kid. He had just come back from working as a lifeguard and was still wearing his swimsuit,” reports The Daily Beast.

“I’ve seen my family blood, the same blood that runs through my veins, spilled on my front door,” she said when she announced her candidacy for state’s attorney last year.

Mosby has always been vocal about her support of police.

“It is my genuine belief despite what we might all want to think, what we might want to believe, the police officers in this city are doing their jobs,” she said. “I repeat, the police officers in Baltimore city are doing their jobs and taking bad guys off the street.”

Mosby, who was elected by 10 points, will have been on the job for just five months on Friday, when the Baltimore police hand over to her their investigation into Gray’s fatal injuries while in custody. She is doing her own investigation as is the U.S. Justice Department, now headed by newly-sworn Loretta Lynch.

Mosby has her work cut out for her. Talk about baptism by fire.

Dr. Jessica Shepherd Talks Kandi Burruss’ Fertility Issues

dr oz segment 2

Earlier this week, we told you that Kandi Burruss would be undergoing in-vitro fertilization after unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant for over a year. Today, Burruss will appear on “The Dr. Oz Show” along with her husband Todd Tucker and women’s health expert and OB/GYN Dr. Jessica Shepherd to discuss her fertility issues.

We were recently able to connect with Dr. Shepherd, who provided further insight into the problems Kandi and Todd are facing in trying to get pregnant. She also dished on some common issues relating to women and their reproductive health including trying to get pregnant after 40 and when couples should seek fertility assistance.

MN: We know that Kandi suffered from uterine fibroids, but can you provide insight regarding her specific situation?

It was basically the location of her fibroids and basically that she had previous surgery before that made it a little bit more difficult to conceive.

MN: How do fibroids present issues with conception exactly?

Basically with conception, it all depends on where the fibroid is. If the fibroid is actually in the cavity of the uterus, it can create an environment that has a lot of inflammation. It can also take up space, which can prevent a fertilized egg from implanting inside the uterus where it needs to be.

MN: What are common symptoms of fibroids? Are they always painful?

No, actually the number one complaint of fibroids is heavier periods. It can also cause constipation heavy bleeding during periods, urinary frequency. It all depends on location. Depending on the size of the fibroid, it can cause infertility and conception issues.

MN: Are some women more susceptible to suffering from fibroids than others?

Yes, which is why this is a great site to share this information. African-American women, by the age of 50, up to 75% of them will have fibroids. Any other women of other ethnicities, up to 50% of them will have fibroids by the time they’re 50. It’s a very common problem in women, but with African-American women, in general, the chances are increased.

MN: Is there any way that someone can lower their chances of developing fibroids?

It’s one of those things that just happens. Usually, family history plays a key part in whether or not someone will have them. Usually, if a mother, sister, or grandmother has fibroids, most likely a woman may find herself with fibroids.

MN: There was a study a few years ago that suggested some sort of correlation between relaxers and fibroids?

As someone who deals with fibroids on a regular basis, I have not witnessed a correlation. Having read the studies, I think the significance of the study was not very strong—the significance meaning when you look at the strength of the study.

If you look at fibroids, they’ve been very prevalent in African-Americans, even before we started using perms. And also, women who have never had perms are also susceptible to having fibroids. It’s very hard to use that as a strength in suggesting that people would have an increased risk of developing fibroids. Even if people don’t have perms, they still can have fibroids.

Now That We Have Emojis…15 Apps Every Black Woman Needs

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Did you know that African-Americans use smartphones more than any other group? And now that we finally have black Emojis, we’ll probably never put our cellular devices down. If you know you stay with your phone in hand, here are a few apps that every black woman needs!

From The Perspective Of Black Women Activists: Why Our Resolve Is Stronger In The Wake Of The Uprising In Baltimore

protests

AP

Sadness and outrage overwhelmed me as I watched the violence that erupted in Baltimore this week. The death of Freddie Gray in police custody gave rise to an all too familiar sense of despair. As evidenced by the stream of murders publicized in the news, it is still open season on Black people in America.

I shook my head as I read tweet after tweet demonizing the residents of Baltimore because I understood, as so many of us do, that the sadness and outrage experienced by American communities bearing the brunt of racist violence can easily become something more ominous. As a Black woman in America, I regularly battle the gamut of emotions when I hear and read about unarmed sisters and brothers being brutally murdered at the hands of those who’ve sworn an oath to serve and protect. Black women are in the vanguard of the battle against such atrocities, not because social justice is “trending,” but because we continue to experience violence with little recourse.

Black women are 35% more likely than their white counterparts to be victims of violence, yet we make up only 13% of the U.S. population (Center for American Progress, 2013). Approximately 40% of Black women report coercive contact of a sexual nature by age 18, and an ongoing survey by Black Women’s Blueprint places that number closer to 60% (Black Women’s Blueprint, 2011). This speaks volumes about the institutional redress available to Black women in America, and the pervasive message of impunity that is strengthened every time violence against a Black person goes unpunished.

How do we survive this? How do we stop the onslaught of violence against Black people? The violence that erupted in Baltimore was the result of generational sadness and outrage reaching a boiling point. Though violence in response to violence is reflexive, it is a dangerous diversion. We must target the root of the problem, pro-actively working towards a complete and restorative justice. We are organizing and demonstrating. We are engaging in thoughtful dialogue to raise consciousness and accountability. We are collectively using our voices, our talents, and our outlets to galvanize people from all walks of life for the cause of social justice. We are hellbent on disrupting the status quo of unpunished excessive force and racist tactics within law enforcement and government. We need the violence to stop. We have no choice but to take action. Our lives depend upon it.

For more on this story, check out Black Women’s Blueprint.

Black Women’s Blueprint (BWB) is a national, non-governmental organization seeking to secure social, political and economic equality in American society. BWB works to develop a culture where women of African descent are free from violence, fully empowered, and where gender, race, and other disparities are eradicated. Go to www.blueprintny.org to learn more.

Reading List: Obama To Announce Program Offering Free E-Books For Low-Income Kids

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

President Barack Obama is looking to boost the literacy rate of low-income kids with a plan to offer free access to 10,000 e-books.

This is a welcome move, as research shows 80 percent of low-income children lag below their grade level in reading skills and lack books at home.

According to Ann O’Leary, vice president and director of the children and families program at Next Generation, by the time low-income children reach three years of age, they have amassed a vocabulary of about 500 words. Meanwhile children of the same age from more affluent households have learned more than twice as many words, with a vocabulary of about 1,100.

The White House will partner with publishers and libraries. There are $250 million in e-book commitments from publishers, including from the five major publishing houses: Verlagsgruppe Georg von Holtzbrinck GmbH’s Macmillan, CBS Corp’s Simon & Schuster Inc, Penguin Random House, Lagardere SCA’s Hachette Book Group Inc, and News Corp’s HarperCollins Publishers LLC, reports Reuters.

Also, the New York Public Library is creating an app to connect low-income kids with the books.

“If we’re serious about living up to what our country is about, then we have to consider what we can do to provide opportunities in every community, not just when they’re on the front page, but every day,” said Jeff Zients, Obama’s top economic adviser, in a briefing with reporters.

And since kids will need computers and devices to read these free e-books, the White House already has a plan in place to upgrade Internet services for schools and libraries, with private sector help from companies such as Apple, which pledged $100 million in devices to low-income schools.

This Weekend On CafĂ© Mocha: Jazmine Sullivan Talks About Her “Reality Show” Tour

jazmine-Sullivan

This weekend Grammy-nominated R&B singer/songwriter Jazmine Sullivan is coming to CafĂ© Mocha. She will talk about everything from her incredible “Reality Show” to how she survived a bad relationship.

Plus, would you pay $20 a month for music? Join MC Lyte, Loni Love and Angelique Perrin as they debate the pros and cons of Jay Z’s new Tidal app on CafĂ© Mocha Radio this weekend. (You can also check out our coverage here, here and here.)

Did y’all see Mo’Nique disclosed e-mails that Lee Daniels did offer her the role of Cookie? Don’t miss the ladies of Did Y’all See on CafĂ© Mocha Radio and on MadameNoire’s YouTube page this weekend to find out more details.

Cafe Mocha Radio Logo_Light_420 (4)

Visit Café Mocha Radio for air times around the country and on SiriusXM Channel 141. #CMR #CafeMocha

 

Beets Don’t Kale My Vibe! Kendrick Lamar Now Has His Own Official Salad

via King Kunta music video

via King Kunta music video

No, it’s not a joke. Rapper Kendrick Lamar is seriously launching his own salad, in collaboration with Sweetgreen, and calling it Beets Don’t Kale My VibeBillboard reports.

Since 2013, Sweetgreen — an East Coast salad chain — has been selling t-shirts with the words “Beets Don’t Kale My Vibe,” a pun on Lamar’s “B**** Don’t Kill My Vibe” single from the good kid, m.A.A.d city album. Fast forward two years and the “King Kunta” rapper wants in — “Lettuce make this into a real salad,” Lamar, if he had any humor, might have said.

So what is the Beets Don’t Kale My Vibe made of?

The hip-hop salad contains “shredded local kale, roasted chicken, goat cheese, organic wild rice, and flash roasted beets, which are marinated in balsamic vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, and a hint of honey.” If you want to munch on Lamar’s greens, swing by Sweetgreen’s Sweetlife Festival next month; the company will be honoring the rapper who is headlining the event.

Beets Don’t Kale My Vibe will also be available at all Sweetgreen locations through the month of May.

Lettuce hope that this is just the tip of the iceberg and Lamar will romaine in the salad business.

Mommy Mogul: How Are You Saving For Retirement?

Welcome to our Mommy Mogul column where we cover issues of importance for moms who are launching a new business, working a side gig, or managing work life and home life. Is there a topic you’d like us to address? Send your thoughts to tgarcia@madamenoire.com. And, as always, take to the comments with your feedback.

401k retirement money savings

Shutterstock

Any “mommypreneur” can tell you that juggling a healthy work/life balance can be difficult at times. You want to dedicate your energy to pursuing your passion but also want to be as present as possible when it comes to your children and family needs.

As a work-from-home mother myself, I truly commend those who set out to pave their own way. It’s not always a glamorous or an easy life as you tend to navigate newfound territory without a map or guide. Sometimes you feel like you carry the weight of your household on your shoulders (technically you do if you’re a single parent) and constantly find yourself asking whether or not you’re making the right decisions.

Unfortunately we don’t always have the answers, but one area where we need to make the right choice is with our finances.

If I asked you what your top five financial needs are, what would be your answer?

Being a mother, it’s a little too easy to put the needs of others in front of our own. In many cases, we have to as we must do everything we can to provide for our family. That however does not mean we neglect our own retirement needs. We’re going to need to save for our financial future and must start right now.

Things weren’t as organized as they are now when I first made the decision to pursue my own ventures. There were times of plenty and times when I had to rely on my savings to help pay the bills. Through hard work and dedication I’ve been able to create a reliable monthly salary to take care of monthly needs and future planning. Even though my husband has a pretty good job and saves like no other, I felt it was important for me to have something of my own.

In fact, it’s important for everyone to have something set aside. The latest numbers show that one in five Americans dies penniless, with one in six people actually dying in debt.

After doing a bit of research in the investing arena, I determined an individual 401k was the best option for me. I filled out the necessary paperwork and within days had my own retirement vessel. Whether you use a personal 401k or an IRA, it’s important to have a good grasp of your investment needs and the proper outlets (e.g. stocks, mutual funds, ETFs) to achieve your goals.

It can be a little overwhelming saving for your retirement as all decisions fall in your lap. Unlike working for someone else, you’ll have to research, buy and sell things on your own. Some business owners hire an outside party like a financial adviser to take care of these tasks, but if you don’t have that in your budget, you’ll be okay. Most retirement platforms are pretty easy to navigate. You just have to have a little patience.

Regardless of how you save for your retirement, make it a habit to pay yourself first. Once you deal with estimated taxes and monthly bills, it’s very easy to overlook your own savings and shortchange yourself. You’ll also need to try and invest as much as possible in order to see it grow in value over the years. I put away 10 percent each month as a minimum and add to it when I can.

How are you saving for your retirement?

Amateur Baltimore Photographer Lands TIME Magazine Cover

Source: TIME

Source: TIME


TIME Magazine
has consistently lived up to their name, choosing cover images and writing articles about the issues that most significantly and memorably affect the days, weeks, months and years in which we live.

The publication just released the image from this week’s cover. And not only is it powerful and profound, it’s authentic to the current #BlackLivesMatter movement in Baltimore and across the nation.

According to the TIME, the image was taken by native West Baltimore resident, 26-year-old Devin Allen. Up until last week, Allen only dreamed of becoming a professional photographer. But when the Baltimore Uprising emerged, he got out there and started documenting for his personal Instagram page. The images captured the attention of Rihanna, the BBC, CNN and thousands more on Instagram and Twitter.

Allen prides himself on documenting the good, the bad and the ugly of the protests. For the cover image, which shows a man running from a pack of police, Allen says, “When I shot that, I thought it was a good picture, so I uploaded [from my camera] to my phone. By the time I’d done that, the police was all around me. I was in the middle of it.”

Allen also explained the significance of being featured on the cover.

For me, who’s from Baltimore city, to be on the cover of TIME Magazine, I don’t even know what to say. I’m speechless,” says Allen. “It’s amazing. It’s life changing for me. It’s inspiring me to go further. It gives me hope and it gives a lot of people around me hope. After my daughter, who’s my pride and joy, this is the best thing that’s happened to me.”

Beautiful.

You can check more of Allen’s work, all of which has been published on Instagram, on the following pages.

Meet The Black Men: Murad Ferguson

AABM Post Photos_Murad Ferguson

Occupation: Graphic Artist/Entrepreneur

Twitter: @CrookBladez

IG: @CrookBladez

Relationship Status: Single

Children: Three daughters

My definition of a man: One who protects, provides and leads. One who handles his responsibilities and gives his all. One who honors his word.

Good sex is… Euphoric and addictive.

The one thing I know to be true about women: They are beautiful when they allow themselves to be.

Three things every relationship should have are love, loyalty, and communication.

My job as a boyfriend/husband is to: To keep my woman happy at all times. To support her and protect her. Give her toe-curling orgasmic sex.

Any woman I’m involved with must: Be loyal and able to communicate about anything. A lady in the street a freak in the sheets. Adventurous and ambitious.

Sext/Text/Call? Call – talking is so much better but I dont mind texting or sexting.

I want my legacy to be… I want to positively affect the world somehow. I want to be known for being an entrepreneurial genius and a philanthropist

 

Prisoner Claims Freddie Gray Tried To Injure Himself In Police Van

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It was only a matter of time.

It has been over three weeks since Freddie Gray’s fatal run-in with Baltimore Police and the department has yet to provide the public with answers regarding how the 25-year-old sustained spinal cord injuries. But it appears that someone somewhere may already be conspiring to blame Gray for his injuries.

According to The Washington Post, a 38-year-old prisoner who was in the police transport van with Gray prior to his arrival at the police station told investigators that he believes Gray “was intentionally trying to injure himself.”

Though the men were separated by a metal partition and were unable to see one another, the witness, who is currently in jail, claims that he could hear Gray “banging against the walls” of the vehicle. He was picked up after Gray’s arrest six blocks away from the police station.

Police records documenting the incident say that Gray was found unconscious in the transport van when it arrived at the police station on April 12. As previously reported, the department claims that they do not know if Gray sustained the fatal injuries during his arrest or the 30-minute ride to the station. Jason Downs, an attorney representing the Gray family, says that the family had not been informed of the inmate’s comments to investigators.

“We disagree with any implication that Freddie Gray severed his own spinal cord,” Downs said. “We question the accuracy of the police reports we’ve seen thus far, including the police report that says Mr. Gray was arrested without force or incident.”

Baltimore Police Commissioner Anthony Batts did admit that officers did not follow proper protocol when they chased Gray through a West Baltimore housing project before arresting him. Batts said that officers failed to properly secure him in the back of the wagon with a safety belt or harness and ignored his pleas for medical assistance. The department said that they intend to wrap up their internal investigation by Friday and their findings will be handed over to the Baltimore state’s attorney’s office. From there, it will be determined whether or not the involved officers should be indicted.

I realize that we may never know what truly happened in that van on April 12, but I would truly hope that Baltimore Police Department isn’t about to insult the public’s intelligence by trying to imply that Gray severed his own spine.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Having An Open Mind: My Experience Dating Men With Children After Being Against It

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When I was younger, during my college days, my friends and I swore that we would never date a man with children. This was mainly because growing up in my neighborhood, we were only accustomed to one type of single dad, and that was one who was barely present in his child’s life–an irresponsible dead beat. I also felt this way because I believed that when I finally shared parenting responsibilities with a man, I wanted it to be a first experience for the both of us.

I felt this way until I met a guy I really liked, only to find out that he had kids.

We met on the web and exchanged numbers. We talked every day through phone calls and text messages. We even FaceTimed each other. I was happy to see that we had a lot in common. Like me, he was interested in making healthy lifestyle choices. He was also an educated man who loved and looked fantastic in a good suit. We exchanged account names for social media, and I learned through his Instagram that he had a daughter. A four-year-old.

I thought about what I had said when I was in college: A man with kids is a no-no. I don’t want the drama. I don’t want to be groomed to be a child’s stepmother.

But then I had to think about dating from the perspective of a parent. He was still a person, and I would feel bad if I didn’t give him a chance just because he had a kid. I liked him, so I tried to have an open mind.

However, I learned there was another child later on, an infant only six months old. I had to do the math because something wasn’t adding up. Again, while I liked him, I learned that he was not an upfront person, and that was the deal breaker for me. How did two kids pop up out of nowhere? I felt like there was more to him than he was revealing, so I ceased communication with him.

Still, I learned a lot from that situation. Even though my friends and I swore that we would never date men with children, I’m learning that having kids doesn’t automatically make you unsuitable for dating. You can still date someone with children, but there is a way to be responsible without affecting the child. It is important to remember that you are dating him, not his kids. They have a mother. If it’s just a casual situation or the beginning stages where the two of you are still trying to figure each other out, there’s no need to stress or obsess over his responsibilities.

But he should be upfront about his children. For those of you dating with kids, I understand that sometimes you don’t disclose that information because you want to have a social life and would like to keep certain things separate, but honestly, everything will eventually overlap once things pick up with the person you are dating. It’s only fair to be straightforward instead of dropping bombs later because some people may not really be okay with dating people with children.

When dating a guy with kids, find out what kind of package deal he comes with. If he has a child, what type of dealings does he have with the child’s mother? What is their relationship like? How would that potentially affect you in terms of dating? If avoiding drama with the mother doesn’t seem doable, then run for the hills and never look back. You will never fully get to experience or enjoy your relationship if there’s always a third party stirring the pot.

It is also important to set boundaries with him involving his child. For example, unless things are getting serious between the two of you, you shouldn’t feel obligated to spend time with his child. If it’s just casual dating, then you need to remember that you are just dating him. Plus, the child’s mother may not be happy about a complete stranger being around their child so closely.

Also, be sure to observe what type of father he is. Is he responsible with his child? Does he make being a father a full-time job or is he a part-time dad? Is he a provider? When you see what type of father he is, it allows you to see him in a different light. You can tell when someone knows how to handle their business and when someone doesn’t. Would you want to be with someone who doesn’t treat being a father as if it were a precious gift? Someone who isn’t responsible?

If you’re an individual who demands a lot of attention, you may also want to be honest with yourself about whether or not you are okay with being second in a man’s life. Don’t expect him to have loads of time on his hands. If he’s a responsible dad and works hard to provide for his child, you can’t fault him for it, but also don’t think that you have to settle for a lack of time together if it’s not something you’re comfortable with. He will make time for you if he’s truly invested in getting to know you. But NEVER think it’s okay to put him in a position where he has to choose between spending time with his kid or quality time with you. If things get serious and he lets you into that part of his life, then great! You can get to know his child and have outings and do fun things together. But until then, accept that his child is his first priority.

Dating a guy with kids definitely gave me a different perspective when it comes to my preferences. Dating a man with children is always a delicate situation, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. But you should consider these things before you dive in too deep.

How To Deal When You’ve Been Lied On By Someone You Trusted

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Knowing that you’re being lied on and that people believe what’s being said about you is a terrible thing, but being lied on in public and on a global scale?

That’s on a level most of us can’t even comprehend.

That is something Mo’Nique had to deal with recently. The Academy Award-winning actress experienced what many would argue was the most humiliating predicament of her career.

It all began back in February when the Precious star revealed to The Hollywood Reporter that she had supposedly been “blackballed by Hollywood,” a sentiment expressed to her by director Lee Daniels, who she also revered as a friend.

It was a risky admission that could have gone either way. It could have placed an ominous cloud over Mo’Nique’s latest film, Blackbird, which she was promoting when she shared this information, or it could drum up extra publicity for the independent production. She hadn’t been seen on the big screen since 2009, so sharing this information was a gamble. However, Mo’Nique isn’t one to shy away from risks career wise.

But everything took a strange turn when Daniels went on CNN to tell his side of the story. With the gloves officially off, Mo’Nique decided to spill more tea.

The outspoken star fired back, arguing that if she weren’t a team player as Daniels had insisted, he would not have offered her the role of Cookie Lyons on his breakout hit show, Empire.

This shook Empire fans to the core as they could not imagine anyone else being in the role besides Taraji P. Henson. And when co-creator Danny Strong shot back saying it wasn’t true, the show’s fans believed him and criticized Mo’Nique. Many people felt that she was a jilted star who needed to move on already.

That is until she produced receipts.

During Mo’Nique’s interview on Sway in the Morning, she showed off printed emails between both Daniels’ camp and her own management team as they discussed her involvement with the show. Sway read the emails aloud: “Lee Daniels had a conversation with Mo’Nique about his new television pilot for Imagine TV/Fox called Empire. We would like to screen test her for the role of ‘Cookie.’ Please contact us with her television quotes, so that we can start a test, option, deal. We are tentatively looking at Monday, Feb 24 for the screen test.”

There the proof was, in black and white. While Daniels and Strong were apparently trying to diminish Mo’Nique’s character and tarnish her professional reputation, they were ultimately exposed as shady, and now it’s their character being brought into question.

While she should have been talking about her latest creative venture in interviews, Mo’Nique has spent a lot of time and energy defending herself against Daniels, which I’m sure was pretty exhausting for her, and at times, the public.

But I don’t blame Mo’Nique. Being lied on is an awful thing (I’m speaking from experience), and had Mo’Nique put more focus on her new film rather than defending herself, we’d still have a skewed view of her. We would believe that she used this entire situation for publicity and wouldn’t want to support her or her new movie.

When someone lies on you, it is a betrayal, especially if you consider the person a friend as Mo’Nique considered Daniels.

If this happens to you, the first thing you need to digest is that if this person could lie on you, they were probably never really your friend in the first place. Owning that thought is the first step because it allows you to understand who this person is. Getting over the shock of it all will help you figure out what to do next.

In Mo’Nique’s case, she had proof. Unfortunately, sometimes we’re lied on and there is no proof. People just have to take your word. If you’ve exhausted yourself trying to prove to others that you have been lied on, I suggest letting it go and allowing karma to work its magic. There is nothing more precious than time, and once it is gone we cannot get it back. Don’t waste it trying to prove someone wrong and by trying to convince people of something you know is the truth. As long as you know the real deal, that’s what matters. The truth will reveal itself in time.

15 Funny Compatibility Checks

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Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes they are some pretty funny actions. If you and your partner can’t agree on these seemingly small but actually big issues, you could be doomed! Here are 15 funny compatibility checks.

Get In Good: Funny Reasons To Befriend Your Boyfriend’s Family

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If you’re having a tough time having a friendship break through with your partner’s parents, just keep in mind that there are many more benefits to befriending his family than meet the eye. Here are 15 funny reasons you should be friends with your boyfriend’s family.

Janet Mock Sits Down With Oprah For Super Soul Sunday

Janet mock

Source: OWN

Bruce Jenner is not the person educating the world and giving voice to an often ignored and misunderstood community. Janet Mock, the former website editor for People turned author and activist, is sitting down with Oprah for an episode of Super Soul Sunday this weekend to talk about her own personal journey.

For those of you who may not know Mock’s story, she was living in New York City, working her dream job. She kept the truth of her past life private. Then in 2011, Mock shared her story with Marie Claire magazine. Though she later took issue with the piece, specifically the title “I Was Born A Boy,” the story opened up a world of possibilities for her.

She quickly became one of the most visible and influential trans women in the world. Today, she hosts a show on MSNBC and has written a memoir called Redefining Realness. 

During her sit down with Oprah, Mock will discuss knowing at as early as five-years-old, that she was a girl. She says:

“As a young person, you don’t have much agency or decision-making. And so you just go wherever people pick you up and take you, and say that this is the way the world is,” she says. “And something internal inside of me told me constantly that what they’re saying is wrong. And so it creates this dissonance with who can you trust if you know that inside, as a 5-year-old, that this is how you know yourself to be.”

Check out the clips from the upcoming interview in the videos below.


You can catch Mock’s interview on OWN at Sunday, May 3 at 11 am ET/PT.