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As people, we have an innate need to want to defend ourselves. When faced with a danger, we’ve been given fight or flight reflexes, which come in handy during our daily trials in survival.
However, most things aren’t as dangerous in our everyday lives, like they were during neanderthal days. While hunting for prey for dinner, those instincts kicked in so you wouldn’t become prey for a hungry mountain lion (or dog, I don’t really know what was going on back then). While we don’t have to deal with those type of dangers, we still have those reflexes.
So with that, it might cause us to react to certain minuscule situations in very large ways. You can usually see this type of behavior when you see others interacting with trolls (internet ones and flesh ones).
It definitely goes over my head how someone could target a person they don’t know (or don’t know well) and just relentlessly harass them. But there are some people who live this life. A life that revolves around getting a reaction from others by being malicious.
Because you’re being attacked, you’re going to want to protect yourself, or your reputation. You’re not going to think twice about defending yourself, because why would you? Even clownfish will talk their way out of conflicts, and use their communication skills to reinforce their social status. It’s a normal desire to do so.
However, we’re living in a really weird time where trying to engage a person into harmless banter can lead down a barrage of insults and false accusations. So how do you handle all this? How do you know if someone is just trying to start a healthy conversation, or just attempting to bait you?
In all honesty, we’ll never know anyone’s true intentions but our own. But what I do know is that instead of trying to gauge it, maybe just ignore it? Now, I’m not saying to allow yourself to get bullied, but just like Jerry Seinfeld expressed to Wale, sometimes we give people the benefit of the doubt too much. We engage a person spewing negativity because we think there’s something deeper behind it. We give it substance that might not actually be there, when in all honesty, the person’s attempt is most likely only surface level. A transparent attempt to get a rise out of you.
I have to be honest with you. I’ve been experiencing a bit of existential crisis lately, trying to figure out what is the meaning of life. What will we learn at the end of this mystical journey, and what lies beyond it? Facing my own mortality has been causing me to want to try to figure out what life really means, and I honestly don’t know.
But what I do know is that life is too short to engage someone who just wants a reaction from me. I refuse to spend the limited time I have trying to convince a person who is intent on not liking me to change their mind about how they see me. Why? Because it’s not important to the daily trials of my survival. I’d rather engage my fight or flight reflexes on something more important, like my jerk neighbors who let their bulldog wander the neighborhood. A person’s unfounded opinion is the least of my concern, and it should be the least of yours as well. Add substance to your life, by ignoring the people who are determined to remove it from you. Life is too short.
Kendra Koger is quick with that block button on Twitter @kkoger.
