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I have a confession to make.
In the past, I cared too much about what people thought of me. I also feared rejection. I dimmed my light, curbed my creativity, and even put goals on hold simply because they stood the risk of being subject to public scrutiny. I have played myself short, missed out on opportunities, and not been my truest self simply because of fear. It’s disheartening to think about as I look back on what could have been if I simply would have just been (that was deep, right?). Now I’m on a path to living a life that is more in line with what I want and think as opposed to what I believe others will perceive about me. It’s not an easy track to be on, but it’s so worth it.
Fear comes in many forms, and most times, we don’t even realize it’s stopping us from doing what we really want to do. No one likes to be rejected, hated on or feel as if they aren’t accepted. That was the case with me. The borderline perfectionist in me cared too much if other people perceived me as less than perfect. Clearly, I know that no one is flawless, but I was not comfortable exposing my imperfections.
For a while, I second-guessed myself in most of my endeavors. I declined opportunities out of fear. I even went without asking for things I really wanted for fear of being rejected. This was no way to live and I knew something had to change. I had to change.
Let me also clarify. I wasn’t spending every single moment of my life considering what others thought. I would have been darn near miserable if that were the case. And there were times where I did take risks, but there were more moments where I refrained from doing things because I feared failure and judgment. All of us suffer from this phobia, some just a bit more than others.
Fear is inevitable. Everyone has moments when they feel afraid of something. It’s a natural emotion. It only becomes a problem when we allow it to dictate our lives and stand in the way of our dreams. This was the case in my life for too long. I played things safe and wasn’t reaching my fullest potential.
Fast forward to today. Things have changed, opportunities are more prevalent, and life is much more fulfilling. Of course, I want people to like me, but my day isn’t ruined if they don’t. Sure, I’m nervous to go after big opportunities for fear that I won’t live up to the hype, but now it doesn’t stop me from pursuing them. It’s still a process. I still cringe at the thought of rejection, but I’m not limited by it. This bold journey is just that…a journey. I’m not sure I will ever be 100% fearless. I don’t think there is such a thing, but I definitely don’t let other people’s opinions or the fear of failure bind me to a mediocre life.
