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This is something that’s honestly easier said than done. No matter how much we might try to do the right thing, we’re only human and can let our emotions get the best of us.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have struggled with envy. It’s not something I’m proud of but must accept so I can try my best to make the necessary changes.
Years ago I met a colleague in my industry who seemed perfect. Not only did she come from a privileged background but was able to turn her site into a digital media opportunity. Here I was working around the clock to put out content and make a name for myself and she seemed to do it so effortlessly. Granted I was doing okay considering we met each other at different industry events, but I always felt as if things came easier for her. This made my feelings shift from nice to curious. Why things were working out for her, especially when I felt I had stronger content?
Our paths continued to cross throughout the years and we kept in touch through social media as much as any acquaintance would. I shamefully admit I thought her life was a bit of a fairy tale as it seemed she had the perfect job, perfect relationship and perfect life. Hell, even her Instagram pictures looked perfect.
On the rare occasions we’d meet at events, our conversations would be lighthearted and casual. In addition to all of her perfection she was one of those really (really) nice people that made me like and dislike her even more. I always felt like she was bragging when it came to her life as her stories left her grinning from ear to ear.
Then I realized, it wasn’t that she was trying to be cocky. She was happy and my own unhappiness kept me from acknowledging it. Why was my first reaction to good news such a negative one?
I have seen insecurities eat away at both a person and their potential. How many times have we said to ourselves “I shouldn’t have wasted so much time focusing on someone else?”
This still sits with me today as I thankfully have worked on not projecting my own issues onto others. We still keep in touch from time to time, but now I have a genuine happiness for both her life and mine. It took a minute for me to realize the journey I thought was intended for me actually wasn’t. Both of us are happily married, have begun starting families but are on different paths. Rather than rob myself of milestones and achievements by focusing on someone else, I’ve learned to count my own blessings.
We need to realize that some people are happy in life that it can’t be contained. Instead of writing them off as being arrogant or a know-it-all, we should focus on their intentions. Yes some do try to stand taller than others, but that’s not always the case. Instead of nitpicking every little thing someone says or does, make sure you aren’t approaching a situation with an envious heart. There’s too much good and potential in you to waste it on others. Success is also not exclusive to a specific amount of people.
I’m sure there are some people out there who think of me the way I did my colleague years ago. It’s something you really can’t help. The best solution is to focus on yourself and all the good happening in your life. When you spend so much time replaying another person’s life in your head, you miss out on the opportunity to make your own lasting memories.
