In a time where the fear of being politically incorrect stifles the honest opinions of many, I brace myself for verbal crucifixion when I admit to not fully understanding the transition from hypermasculine Olympic champion, Bruce Jenner, to the newly revealed all-American beauty (and Vanity Fair cover star), Caitlyn. I pause even before asking certain questions aloud, confining the inquiries strictly to the safety of my home’s four walls or the privacy of my iMessages.
However, despite grappling with how to now categorize her sexuality, and immediately sweeping up my slip-ups of incorrect pronouns, I still have an unshakable tolerance for her more than 60-year journey to find herself while struggling to sustain a certain image in the public eye. I mean, there are many things to unpack in this one person’s story, but I’m proud of her and taken aback by how stunning Caitlyn Jenner looks as a woman. Yes, I feel for her ex-wives and her kids, but I’m also happy for her happiness.
But as an imperfect person whose spirituality and connection with Christ has been one of the few fulfilling constants in my life, I’m somewhat conflicted about this story. Should I feel so happy about it? It’s human nature to fear what the mind can’t grasp, and, more commonly, to fear the unknown of the future. If Bruce can become Caitlyn, will the world slide into a 2015 Sodom and Gomorrah? Not likely. But from what I gathered in conversations since Caitlyn splashed gender identity in the world’s face back in April with the help of Diane Sawyer, the fear of limitless tolerance for all behaviors and acts––sexual or otherwise––puts the fear of God in folks. This is especially true for those who interpret the Bible in a strict manner.
Months after her exclusive sit-down interview, Caitlyn’s PR-perfect rollout and coming out party still prompts a flood of ignorance exchanged along timelines. Though I celebrate Caitlyn’s strength to put such a heavily guarded burden on front street, I realize that opposing opinions also have a space in this conversation, especially if I myself can’t fully reconcile my spirit to a definitive comprehension about a man becoming a woman. However, it’s the use of religion to justify distasteful commentary and hatred that conjures my feelings of doubt and confusion in organized religion. I’ve never in my life felt in my heart a reason to be disgusted by anyone in the LGBT community. What happened to all the biblical lessons of acceptance, compassion, tolerance and love? Sure, my Christian upbringing––the cornerstone of most black folks’ rearing––defined what behaviors were deemed inappropriate or ungodly. But I gravitated toward the teachings that required us not to pass judgment, that taught us no sin outweighed another, and that love was to be shown just as Christ loved us, regardless of understanding. Cherry-picking the sins of others to condemn while ignoring our own is deplorable at best and doesn’t lend itself to assisting the Christian agenda. It’s supposed to be all about love, right?
So yes, for some, older generations especially, Bruce becoming Caitlyn is simply an action outside of their mental wheelhouse. It’s going to take time for some to fully accept this metamorphosis. And, again, my Millenial mind doesn’t completely compute the breadth of it all either. But in light of such public fanfare, there should be several conversations and some healing that takes shape without the desire to eradicate whole groups of people, shame them, or throw around despicable adjectives in comment sections.
I know for sure that I’m a believer in people being able to fully self-actualize––as long as they’re not harming themselves or others––and live as they feel God intended them to live. And I have no say in how that evolves. My only obligation is to share how I feel honestly and with respect while allowing others to do the same. I can’t nail others to the wall for their thoughts and choices, just as I don’t want to have to bite my own tongue.
I don’t always know whether my beliefs are blindly leading me to accept what’s wrong or what’s right, but I’m happy that Jenner now feels “free” and others like her are afforded that same opportunity. And for now, I can safely rest my faith on that.